Mommy Panic Attack

School is looming over our heads like the violent thunderstorm that is raging outside my window right now. It is making me SICK. SICK. SICK! I am so in love with being home with my little boys right now. I love being their everything during the day, the one to take care of all of their needs. I have been bursting into tears periodically over the last couple of days, when the thought of taking the kids to daycare hits me. I don't want to miss out on their time.

Jeff and I had our periodic "can I be a stay home mom?" conversation again last night, and it just isn't in the cards for us right now. We can't figure out a way to make it work for us. We are debt free right now, with only our house payment to worry about, and with the tough economic times and shaky situation at Jeff's company, it seems like it would be irresponsible to upset that balance right now. Which I hate.

I love my kids, and I just wish I could be with them all day. It's a shame that's outside of the realm of possibility for so many American families.