I Am Just So Tired

Today was absolutely exhausting, frustrating, patience depleting, embarrassing, horrible, etc.

Charlie had a temper tantrum on the way into the gym this morning, and I had to pick his screaming and kicking body up and carry him to the daycare. He had mud on his shoe from the parking lot, so by the time we arrived, I was covered in mud from his kicking and flailing feet. Sam started screaming too on the way, and by the time we arrived at the childcare center everyone was staring both in pity, annoyance, and gratefulness it wasn't their own children.

I should have known not to try to attempt a shopping trip after that, but we are on a schedule this week to get things done for school. Evan's school supplies were top on the list, so we headed to Walmart. I feel so sorry for Ev that the trip turned out so crappy. I used to love carefully selecting the new supplies I would use each year, picking out just the right one. Sammy threw a huge fit as we started out, over who knows what, and was screaming at the TOP of his lungs. I am sure the whole store could hear. We started racing through the aisles of supplies, trying to hurriedly find everything. I was starting to run out of patience, and was short with Evan, the poor kid. As we raced into the checkout aisle, Charlie spotted some Skittles he wanted, but I was not about to reward the child for screaming. So, he started in with the BIGGEST temper tantrum I have ever personally witnessed. He was shrieking, hitting, kicking, and completely out of control. I stuck to my guns-no Skittles, but yet again everyone was staring.

To top off the day, we had to make a trip to the doctor so Evan could see Dr. B for his sinus infection that still won't go away, despite a round of antibiotics. Sammy lost it again this time, as we waited over 45 minutes in the waiting room, and I had to stand up holding him, all 30 pounds worth, for most of that time to keep him quiet/restrained. When we finally made it to the exam room, I burst into tears.

Give me a classroom of 30 school age kids, and I am a pro. I have successfully dealt with every classroom situation/behavior problem thrown at me in the last 8 years, which includes an 8 year old throwing a desk at the classroom window. Hand me two toddlers 10 months apart in age and experts at tantrums, and I am a loser. Loser Mom. I am just completely exhausted. I don't know if I am handling things right, but I never give in to the screams. How much longer can this go on? How much more can I take? I would seriously benefit from a Prozac cocktail right now. Or at the very least a vacation on a deserted island. Until the toddlers are preschoolers.