Monday, March 16, 2009

Venturing Out on His Own

Evan and I were just a pair for the first 4 years of his life. (We refer to this as the time of our small family). As a result, we formed a bond that I think is a lot closer/different from other parent child bonds. In many ways, it was great. With only one person to pour my love and devotion into, I feel like he had a great beginning to his life. The downside was that with only me to depend on, Evan had a hard time separating from me. Make that HAS a hard time separating.

He has always been hesitant to venture out on his own, to do new things if I'm not there. Jeff and I have worked hard over the past few years to build his self confidence, and to get him to an independence level that we see other 10 1/2 year olds having. Being a world champion worry wort, that hasn't been easy, but on Saturday we made a big breakthrough.

The day was filled with glorious spring sunshine and warmth, so we herded all the boys out to the front yard to play. Evan loves his scooter, and after half an hour of encouragement, we finally talked him into taking a spin around the block. By himself.

Probably something small for other kids, but for my shy guy, worry wart who is overprotective of his mother and hates to leave my side-it was HUGE.

And the silly thing? I was so focused on pushing him out of the nest that I didn't realize how it would make me feel to see him speeding away from me, getting smaller and smaller. So bittersweet. I thought about how this was the first of many upcoming moments in the near future where he would be leaving me behind. So proud, and yet so sad.

This mothering stuff is a tough business.

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