Where Did She Go?

I downloaded some music onto my iPod tonight, some songs that were some of my favorites during my later years in high school. I was laying in bed just now, listening to them and trying to get to sleep when I was struck with an image of myself at 17-driving in the car (my 1986 Ford Tempo), windows down, stereo blaring, long hair blowing in the wind, flying through a warm summer night. I miss that girl so much, it moved me to tears. I miss how she felt so comfortable in her own skin, how her body gave her a feeling of power, how she felt on top of the world with her future laid out at her feet. I miss her idealism and strong convictions, her courage to take on the world, and her certainty that she would make a difference. Where in the world is she? How did that girl morph into middle aged me? I don't think I would find her, even if I dug down really deep inside, which I think is the real reason it made me cry. Because I know she is lost, and I can't ever get her back.

I would pay a lot of money to go back in time to that moment, if only for half an hour or so, and just feel those things again. Be that way again.

Nice Weekend

We had a busy but nice weekend around here. Saturday was spent cleaning up tree debris at my brother's house, and cleaning up/sprucing up the yard he generally ignores. Evan and I then headed over to Hy-Vee to pick up a weather radio which Bill Randby then programmed for us because I am SOOO tired of this weather. Maybe we will be a little more prepared now. I also got to see meteorologist John Campbell up close and personal (I have a crush on him! Too cute!) Then I went home and mowed our own lawn and cleaned out the hot tub and refilled it. Exhausting, but nice to get a lot done.

Today we went out for breakfast which was a bit of a disaster as Charlie pitched a fit, but it was hard to be too mad at him since he is in the throws of yet another sinus infection, has had diarrhea as a result for the last three days, and has diaper rash so bad that he has blisters on his poor little butt. My parents came over after lunch and my dad and Jeff worked on some minor projects around the house while my Mom and I lazed in the hot tub for about three hours. Blissful!

Here are some pictures of our new adorable friend, Ray.

Give. Me. A. BREAK!

Okay-not only am I tired of storms and especially storms that cause damage and produce tornadoes, but I am tired of being in strange places when they happen. I had headed to the gym this afternoon with Sammy and Evan in tow with the intention of working out for an hour and then taking the boys swimming. Yes, swimming. Which tells you how little prediction of this storm we had. I certainly would not have left the house with my kids to GO IN THE WATER if anyone on TV had mentioned such a severe storm was possible. When we were about 2 blocks from Lifetime, they did mention on the radio that Douglas County was now under a sever thunderstorm warning, which seemed odd to me because it was not raining at all, and there was not a dark cloud in sight. So, after having weathered so many storms as of late, I thought it would pass with maybe a little hail while I was exercising and we might still make it to the pool.

20 minutes into my workout the sirens went off and we were all herded into the women's locker room. I met up with my kids there, who had been in the child center. Evan does not weather tornadoes well, and was having a freak out attack. I felt awful, but he was at least impressed to get to see the women's locker room. We waited out the storm there, which was oh so fun with a 9 year old having a nervous break down and a confused 19 month old. Sammy got more cranky the longer he had to sit still, but at least we were all safe.

I found out later that the huge old maple tree in the front lawn of our old house (now my brother Creighton's house) split in half and is now laying on the roof and on my brother's car, so we are headed over there tomorrow to help with cleanup. My parents are without power, so if they don't get it back by tomorrow, they may be spending the night.

Will it PLEASE stop storming?!!!!

The World is My Oyster

The stars aligned themselves today and after a miraculous afternoon of things falling nicely into place, I was able to get out of the house and get a manicure and a pedicure. I had gotten a gift certificate for this last year on my birthday, and it was about to expire so I was excited to get out of the house to use it.

It is freaking AMAZING how getting these two simple pleasures can totally change your outlook on your day, and your self-image. When my finger nails look good, I feel accomplished and sexy. Even if the rest of me looks like crap, and I am totally behind in my life I feel like I can say "Hey! I have a French manicure and I can now RULE THE WORLD!!!"

Who needs Prozac with these wonderous treatments?

Can I Start this Day Over?

Do you ever have days where so many things go wrong you think you just shouldn't have gotten out of bed? That was my day yesterday...too bad it was the day when I had 5 kids at my house! I have so much respect for my friend Christi who has a home daycare. I wanted to pull my hair out after just one day!!!

Charlie and Sammy love their cousins, and love having them over to play, but it was almost like overstimulation to have them over for that long. By 5:00 everyone was arguing and whining and complaining.

I was brave and took everyone to McDonalds by myself. It went great until Colin decided he had to go poop near the end, and poor Evan had to take him to the bathroom, and had to go above and beyond cousinly duty with some help in the wiping department.

Welcome to the Family, Ray

We did it. We took the plunge and adopted a cat from the Humane Society today. It has been about 10 years since I've owned a cat, but I am quickly remembering why I love them.

How did we know Ray belonged with us? Because when we went to the Get Acquainted room he sat completely still and very calmly while Sammy screamed "Doggy! DOGGY!!" and threw himself at him. He continued to sit still and be patient while Charlie squealed in happiness and "petted" him (aka slapped a little too hard). When Evan finally made his way through the crowd of toddlers, Ray licked my little Evan's face and started to purr. And, he made my husband smile and giggle, just like he was one of the little guys. In short, we fell in love in about 5 minutes. I loved how Ray made eye contact with me over my children's heads and seemed to say "These people are nuts, aren't they?" He understands me already.

He is completely black except for a white tip on his tail, with mysterious green eyes. I will post a picture once I get a few.

Sigh of Relief

VBS is over after a fun filled yet hectic week. I ended up enjoying myself. It was nice to be able to see kids I have had in past classes, to get one more dose of my kiddos from last year, and to see them in a setting other than school. It did completely wear me out though. I have been taking a LONG nap every afternoon. Evan had a blast as usual, so that was nice. My parents never sent my siblings when we were little, and it's nice to get something in for Evan with an extra punch of "fun" religion. Am I glad it's over though? YES! I am ready to get back to lazy next week.

Although I will have to wait until Tuesday to do that. My mom was supposed to watch my sister's kids on Monday, but then my great aunt died, and now her funeral will be Monday. So I will have all 5 kiddos here for the day. They are really starting to enjoy each other, so hopefully it won't be too bad! I may take them to the pool with me, depending on how insane I feel that day.

Grrrr...

Due to yet ANOTHER thunderstorm and hail, I didn't get to the gym tonight. I am SO sick of this CRAZY weather. Do you ever feel like we live in the Twilight Zone? It was hailing like crazy here. Again.

Charlie's Latest Dose of Cuteness

Yesterday on the way home from VBS, Charlie was asking to go to my Mom and Dad's house. When I told him no, he started to cry and said, "But Momma, I need to give Poppo kisses!" My heart melted!

Happy Father's Day Jeff!

We all had a good day here yesterday to celebrate the hero of our house, my handsome hubby Jeff. The boys and I went out to breakfast with my parents, and we left Jeff at home to sleep in, one of his favorite activities. (Although there was that horrendous thunderstorm at about 8-what is WITH the weather this year-but since Jeff is a talented sleeper he fell right back to dreamland). We bestowed our gift upon him when we returned which was a little gizmo that you can plug your iPod into and it will play through you car stereo. Jeff was in love, so we hit the mark on that one.

After naptime we piled all the kids into our backyard pool and splashed around for awhile before heading to my parents for a turkey dinner. YUM!

Jeff and I even found some alone time after the kids went to bed, and we snuck in an episode of Dallas.

So, here's to the guy that rescues his wife from spiders, works hard to ensure we have enough money to retire, wipes snot and changes poop, wrestles on the floor with our troop of boys, and generally melts my heart with love about 20 times a day. We love you and are so blessed you are the daddy at our house!

Why Can't I Just Say No?

I am dreading next week a lot. Every year, Evan attends Vacation Bible School up at SVdP, and he LOVES it. In the past I have volunteered to help, although both of these times it was pre-baby craziness. When I signed Evan up this year, I was heavily pressured to help with one of the stations. I felt like I couldn't say no because my kid has enjoyed this activity for the last 5 years, and I have taken advantage of other people's volunteering. I am so regretting it though because Sam and Charlie will have to attend the daycare there during the morning, and I hate the thought of how stressful it will be for them. The first year I volunteered, my friend Gina and I ended up working in the daycare and it was horrendous. There are a few grown ups, who are assisted by 8th graders who are supposed to be earning service hours for confirmation. Instead, the 8th graders ignored the kids, ate the snacks, and sat on tables talking to each other (totally reminded me why I will NEVER teach junior high). Gina and I ended up being totally stressed out because there were so many kids to watch without a lot of help. In fact, I feel nauseous when I think about my two little guys having to endure it. I am praying it will be better this year.

I know my mom would have done it if I had asked her, but she is our only baby sitter and she is with my kids ALL THE TIME and I don't want to wear her out or take advantage of her.

I am also dreading having to go into "teacher mode" for it. I got completely depleted for some reason last year, and I don't feel in any way recharged enough to do this and enjoy it. Which is terrible anyway, because it's for God, and I shouldn't complain about that. I know he gave me the gift of being a good teacher to help children, and bring them to Him, and I should just try to think of the positives of that. Which I am really going to do when I am done typing.

I KNEW it!

I saw on the news last night that they have now decided that there were actually 2 tornadoes that touched down in Omaha on Sunday. The first touched down at 204th and Q, which is only blocks from our house. Although it freaked me out to hear this, it made me feel like I wasn't crazy, or overreacting to the the sound of the wind that night. When Jeff and I jolted out of bed, there was this sound that I can't even describe to you, except to say that it was an incredible roar, one that made the house shake. The sirens weren't going off, but I felt in my gut we had to get the kids to the basement. Scary to know, but at least I am not nuts.

My Latest Annoyances...

1. Waking up early on Sunday morning to a sound that was such a roar I thought our house was going to blow away. My sister lives in the first neighborhood the tornado hit, and their brand new fence is gone. At least everyone is safe! Charlie and Sam were awfully confused as to why we were heading to the playroom in the middle of the night, especially in the pitch black (no power at our house that night!) As it was thundering earlier in the evening, Charlie had been a little nervous. I think it was the first time he really noticed thunder, so Jeff and I made a game out of it. Every time it thundered we laughed like hyenas and said "Thunder is SOOOO funny!" As we were huddled in the dark basement later on, with the thunder roaring every few seconds, Charlie was shaking like a leaf and repeating to himself over and over under his breath "Thunder is funny. Thunder is funny."

2. My 2 1/2 year old lied to me for the first time this morning. I told him if he ate all of his breakfast he could watch a Thomas the Train video (Charlie is not the biggest eater and breakfast is a HUGE struggle). So, he broke his bagel into pieces, stuffed them into the pocket of his bib, and announced "All done! Char Char ate his bagel!" This is not a good sign.

3. I love the show the Bachelorette. There was a SMALL thunderstorm last night, not even severe, but Bill Randby kept butting in to do weather coverage every 5 seconds. He cut out most of the rose ceremony! ARGH! I know Omaha might be a little jumpy right now, but if they make a huge production out of every clap of thunder, people are going to stop taking the real warnings seriously.

What I love...

about my friend Christi is that she would give you the clothes off her back if you needed them. Or, more aptly in this case, the clothes off her kids' back. Which is fortunate for Sammy, as there was a rather unfortunate incident several months ago in which his mother accidentally donated his summer clothing to AmVets. This is a story which I will not repeat here, as it will only serve to make me look like a dumb ass, and I have already admitted once this week on this blog that I belong in that category. At any rate, Christi came to Sammy's rescue, letting us borrow some clothes that Joel hasn't grown into yet, providing us with this piece of cuteness.



I am also really excited about the perennials I planted this year (I know-I don't get out much). They are in full bloom with all this rain, and I love seeing them when we drive up to the house.

Sammy: A Future Picasso?

Sammy made his first debut with a pencil today, gracing us with a beautiful interpretation of whatever the mind of an 18 month old thinks about. Perhaps the angst and anguish he feels after being bit by his brother Charlie enough times to make him look like an ear of corn.

Too bad the said drawing was on the wall. With the pencil I told Evan to put away AT LEAST 17 TIMES YESTERDAY!

Dumb Ass (That's me!)

On the way out of the gym today I bought the kids some apple juice and a fruit cup to share in the car on the way back home since we were over due for lunch. When we got to the car, Evan was a helpful big brother and opened Charlie's door for him and Charlie climbed into his seat himself. (A newly acquired but very helpful skill!) I got busy buckling in Sam and putting straws into juice boxes, got into the car, and started backing up. Charlie immediately started crying, so I asked him what was wrong and to use his words as I started to maneuver through the parking lot. He popped out with "Char Char not buckled!" Here is what slammed through my head:

1. Thank GOD the kid has learned to talk!
2. I am such a dumb ass!
3. I wonder why/how he knows that buckling up is so important?
4. I am such a dumb ass!
5. Thank GOD he told me before I got very far!

Needless to say, I stopped right where I was, buckled him in, apologized PROFUSELY, and kissed him all over his head while I praised him for telling me. I am so thankful that our guardian angel was with us today!

Evo's Ear

Evan woke up at about 1:00 in the morning and had extreme ear pain. He was up for most of the night, and so I took him to the doctor this morning. He had the raging ear ache I expected. The bummer is he has to stay out of the pool for the next 5 days! Urgh.

Chunky Monkey

I went to the gym this morning and worked out for an hour. Which is unheard of for me mostly because what mom gets an hour to take care of her own needs? I am already dreading the end of summer and the end of the gym, because I think I really could loose the last baby pounds and stop being Chunky Monkey (my preferred term for FAT) if I was just able to be a stay at home mom and get some me time in.

Of course, that's a pretty selfish reason to be a stay at home mom, and is probably just one more indication that it isn't the right spot for me.

Anyway, it feels good to get some workouts in, at least for now.