Charlie Update

Charlie is almost 11 weeks now, and he is rapidly approaching the 3 month mark. He has made some remarkable milestones lately, so I thought I would record them for posterity. He has really started smiling socially. When I come to visit him in daycare over my lunch break, he always breaks out in a whole face grin. I LOVE his smile, which involves his whole mouth being open. Sometimes he coos at the same time, which really melts me into a puddle. Sometimes if he even just hears my voice he will break out in his cutie patutie grin. I just love it. He has also discovered the joy of standing up (with assistance of course) and of sitting. If he is laying down for too long a period, or even just reclining in your arms he gets a little fussy because he likes to be up and around. He had his first trip in the exersaucer at daycare the other day, and he LOVED it! You could tell he thought he was big stuff, and he loved being able to stand up and watch the other kids. It is amazing how fast they grow and change! I love every minute of it, but sometimes I wish it wouldn't go so fast.

I am off this weekend to get his baptismal outfit, which I have been putting off. It amazes me that I will have to buy a 9-12 month size for him, since he is my very BIG boy. We are rapidly closing in on 20 pounds. I shudder at the thought of our food bills when this one hits the teenage years!!!

It's a GO!!

Well...it's all set! The Micek-Kleffman family is moving the last weekend in April!!! We close on April 24th, and I can just hardly believe it. I promised more details if it went through...so here are the highlights. Jeff and I have our own master bathroom, which might seem like a no brainer to some, but it is something we've never had!!! It includes two sinks, a jacuzzi tub, and a seperate shower stall. We also have a WALK IN CLOSET!! Right now I have stuff of ours spread through both kid's rooms, and in storage, so I can't even imagine this. The boys have their own seperate bathroom, right next to their bedrooms. There is also a main floor laundry room (something else I can't imagine), right near the kids bedrooms. Downstairs is a 4th bedroom, and what we will be using as a toy room for the kids. There is also a family room, and another area just as big as all that which is unfinished, and completely storage. This boggles my mind since right now all we have is our cubby hole under the stairs. The pictures are of the backyard, the master bedroom, and the great room. Thank you SOOO much for all of your support as I freaked out about this....I am lucky to have such great friends.

Holy Crap

Our offer was accepted yesterday at 7:30!!! It still depends on what we hear back from the bank on our loan finalization, so I am not letting myself jump up and down and turn cartwheels, but it is definitely looking like we will be moving west!! I'll write as soon as I know more, which is hopefully sooner rather than later.... Here is a picture of the outside, and of the kitchen, one of my favorite rooms.

Eeeek!!!

Jeff and I put a bid in on a house last night...I am absolutely nauseous about it. I can't decide if I want them to accept our bid or not. The house is at 192nd and N Street. I really love the house, which is a 4 bedroom ranch (with a possible 5th bedroom). I don't like that it is so far west, but there just aren't a lot of ranches available in Millard, and they all seem to be pretty far out. It comes with a hot tub, which I love (I know, stupid reason to like a house, since it isn't even IN the house-but cool nonetheless.) I will tell more about it if they accept our bid...right now I don't want to think about it too hard in case we don't get it. Better not to imagine yourself there until it happens, right?

Snow Day Updates

It's been forever since I've written, so I am going to take advantage of the fabulous snow day we are having to update everything...


House Hunting: Jeff, the boys, and I went through six houses about a week ago, and we have looked through countless listings since then. We found some things we liked in each house, but none of them jumped out at us. In fact, they all had at least one thing wrong with each of them. For example, one had a lot that backed up to a train track, one had been reposessed and had holes in the wall, one had 2 of the bedrooms downstairs, one had rooms that were all crooked, etc etc. We did come to one valuable conclusion though. We really think we need a true ranch style house to fit our family's needs right now. This is good to know, but hard to find. We are looking exclusively in Millard because of the special ed services for Evan. There are not a lot of these homes in this area. We have a couple more to look through before we need to come to the conclusion that we will have to build. Which is also good and bad. It would give us the opportunity to make things exactly as we want them (like no stairs leading into the house or the garage) but it is also an organizational undertaking. This makes Jeff nervous and me excited. I LOVE to plan projects and organize. I love to be in charge. So...we will see what happens. Right now I am having a great time going through houses. There is nothing more exciting!!!

Charlie: Charlie had his two month check up on Friday. Jeff was off from work, so the whole family got to come along. He got his first set of shots, and that went well. No unusual reactions, just a slight fever and some discomfort. He is now 15 pounds 3 ounces, and 25 inches long. (This would explain him wearing the 9 month clothing). The bad news was that he has developed a fairly disgusting case of eczyma on his face (although this means I will never have to worry about him serving in the armed forces-a worthwhile trade off!) and a gross case of cradle cap (or cradle crap, as I think of it). He is also having some trouble with his head. Because of how he was positioned in the womb, he wants to always turn his head to the right. So much so that his neck muscles are getting shortened on the other side, and his head is getting a little flat on that side. The doctor said we really need to work on it, or he will have to wear one of those little helmets to help shape his head. Ugh. So...we are diligently pushing his head in the other direction now, which Charlie doesn't really appreciate.

Being back at work: I have been back with my kiddos for a week and a day now. I have mixed feelings here. I am enjoying being back with my class a lot, but I miss Charlie TERRIBLY! I feel so torn. My class did the nicest thing for me on Thursday. The parents came in while my class was at recess and set up a baby shower. When we walked in the room they all shouted surprise and the room was all decorated with monkeys and bananas. We played games, the kids ate bananas and banana bread, and I got a TON of stuff. Charlie is going to be the best dressed boy at daycare. My favorites are an outfit that feature the Very Hungry Catepillar (how perfect for the teacher's kid!) and an outfit from Gymboree (one of my favorite baby stores) that has a monkey sweater with matching jungle printed pants. They even had a baseball hat shaped like a monkey for me to wear during the party. What a wonderful place to work where the parents are so supportive. It makes me feel guilty for wanting to be at home. Charlie has adjusted well to daycare (since Grandma Kathy is his teacher, how could he not?) I am the one who is having issues and temper tantrums. I get to visit him during two of my breaks in the day, so at least I can have some hugs while I am missing him so much. His kissable chubby cheeks have make him a popular new addition to the baby room. Only 42 more days of school though till summer!!!


So that is life in the Micek Kleffman house. Lots of big changes coming up for us!

Babies Babies Everywhere

Tonight Charlie and Evan got to meet their new cousin Brooke for the first time at my parent's house for family dinner. She makes Charlie look like a giant! It was the first time all of the grandkids have been together at the same time-a really neat moment, so of course we took lots of pictures. It's such a wonderful experience to see our family grow and change. I can't wait to see the trouble that these 4 will cause together in coming years!

Jeff and Christy Get Older Still

I am walking around my house today feeling slightly queasy at all times...NO! I am NOT pregnant again (as Jeff asks me with a look of extreme terror whenever I have a body twinge). Jeff and I have taken a step even bigger than buying couches toward adulthood. We are in the process of buying a house. EEK!! We are in the middle of going through the pre-qualification process, and we are meeting with our real estate agent today at four to go through some houses. I feel very duplicitous (I LOVE that word!) about the whole thing. On the one hand, I know this makes financial sense for our family, as well as space sense (I can't imagine being able to crawl into bed at night with more than 6 inches between me, the wall, the bed, and Charlie). I salivate at the thought of being able to get a pan out of my kitchen cupboard without being buried under an avalanche of kitchen crap. I would also kill to have a master bathroom, in which I am not sharing makeup space with my children's bath toys. On the other hand, I want to wretch at the thought of leaving our current house. It is the first place I have lived on my own. I felt like I had conquered Mount Everest when Evan and I moved in. It is the first place I have felt like a competent mother. I also feel the love of my Dad every time I see something he and I have fixed up together. I can't stand change.


I am, however, excited to see this first house we are looking at today. It has such unbelievable luxeries as a GARAGE DOOR OPENER, a SPRINKLER SYSTEM, and my personal favorite, an INTERCOM SYSTEM!!! I can just imagine myself calling to Jeff in other parts of the house and making stupid comments to irritate him, or asking him to do things. What entertainment! I won't mind that we won't be able to afford going out anymore if I can just annoy my husband for a good laugh or two.

The Blahs

The last couple of days I have been REALLY depressed. It is bad enough that last night I was hit with a killer migraine and I am waking up in the middle of the night overwhelmed with waves of sadness, and then I just can't get back to sleep. This is really not like me, so that is depressing me further. I thought maybe if I blogged about it, that would help...


My Maternity Leave is Over Tomorrow: This is not something I am hugely stressing out over, but it does make me sad. I have so loved spending this time with Charlie, but it has also made things easier on the rest of the family and my marriage. I have more time for fun things and family time with Evan because I can get chores and errands done when he is at school, instead of cramming everything into the weekend. I have more time to spend with Jeff because being up a little later didn't bother me when I knew I could take a nap if needed the next day. This has been wonderful for my relationship with Jeff, even something simple like going to bed at the same time as your partner and having a little end of the day snuggle/chat means a lot. Now that I am back to getting up at 5:30 (after being up with the baby 1-2 times during the night) it is definitely off to bed earlier for me!

I Hate My Husband's Job: Jeff has been having to put in incredible hours for the last two months. This includes some weekends going in both Saturday and Sunday for 6-7 hours, and most week nights not being home until after 8. (Last night the poor thing worked until 9:30!) This is not Jeff's fault, there is nothing he can do about it, and I am not mad at him for it (in fact I feel really sorry for him). The fact is though that for most of Charlie's life, I have felt like I am back to being a single parent. I miss Jeff like crazy, and sometimes if I am frustrated or having a bad day, it would be nice to just have some time together, but it makes me sad that I will probably only have an hour or so with him. I have tried really hard to be supportive of him, because I love him so much, and I know it can't be helped. That doesn't mean that it doesn't depress me not to see him, or have him as a major part of our family. Right now, the boys go sometimes for 2 days without seeing him.

My Mother-in-law Makes Me Feel Anorexic: My MIL came to visit us last weekend and to meet the baby. She has never been anything but nice to me, so I am disgusted with myself that I have this reaction to her. I know that this disorder is something I will deal with for the rest of my life, and I hate that. There are still some foods, situations, and people, that for reasons I can't explain and don't understand make me feel like bingeing, purging, or starving myself (or worse a combination of all three). This includes peanut butter sandwiches, Lays Potato Chips, holiday dinners, looking at myself too long in the mirror, people from high school that I felt intimidated by ( a major reason I didn't attend my 10 year reunion), and now my MIL. I know that anorexia is not something that has logical explanations so I have given up trying to figure out why I feel this way when I see her, but it makes me feel terrible. For some reason, it has been really bad since I had Charlie. The bad part about one of these episodes is that it triggers thought patterns in my head, and I start having a lot of self hatred and negative self talk. It is really hard for me to get myself out of it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to talk with Jeff a whole lot through this because we haven't had much time together. On the other hand, since we haven't eaten dinner together, this has allowed me to feed the kids seperately and then eat dinner locked in my bedroom. I know that is ridiculous, but it helps to get through an episode by eating in private for a bit. I feel stupid talking to someone about these things because I so obviously don't look like I have an eating disorder anymore.

Saying Goodbye to Old Friends Sucks: I won't go on about this, but drifting apart from that old friend I talked about the other day has really made me feel like someone has died, or at least a part of me has died.


Anyway, I guess it is a combination of all of these things that is getting me down. I am wondering if there isn't also some post partum depression worked in there somewhere as well. I am hoping that writing about it and getting it out of my system helps.

Happy Birthday Brooke Elizabeth!

My sister Sarah gave birth today to a baby girl...

Brooke Elizabeth
7 pounds 11 ounces
20 3/4 inches

Missing

I have been feeling really sad about something lately, but it really hit me today when I was reading how much it bothers me. I am reading the book Ya Yas in Bloom, the companion to Divine Secrets. The author talks in part of it about how women treasure relationships that offer them a sense of intense femininity and a bond/connection to other women, and how these types of friendships can inspire us to greater things. I had this with a very special friend for the last 14 years. She was someone that I felt an intimate bond with, and in many ways I felt closer to her than anyone else on earth. It is hard for me to describe what this friendship has meant to me over the years, and how much it has saved me at many different points during my life. Even through the seperation of distance and time we had managed to remain extremely close.


After Charlie was born, my family called to tell this friend all about the birth and that he was okay. I called and left a message shortly after we arrived home from the hospital, anxious for a chat about the new little one in my life. I haven't heard from her. Charlie will be two months old next Friday, and she hasn't called or written. It really devastates me. Even if I felt I couldn't relate to something that was happening in her life, if I knew it was important to her, or if it was a major life event, I would offer my support. I would CALL at the very least. I feel like someone has chopped my arm off, and that a huge part of my life is missing. It makes me so sad.


I am really lucky to be surrounded by many other women that I can rely on and am lucky enough to call friends. I know I have to let this go, and that I will continue to be inspired by the other fantastic women in my life. It just makes me sad that that is what has to happen.

3 Kleffmans on a Couch

Last night, Charlie's Grandpa John came from Harlan to visit. I took this picture of Jeff, Charlie, and John sitting together, and as I unloaded it from my camera, it really touched my heart. 3 generations sitting together. Charlie is so lucky to have John as his grandpa. He absolutely dotes on him. I can just picture Charlie tottering around behind him in the years ahead, watching and emulating what he does. I am hoping this will help to pass on the Kleffman love of Harleys to Charlie. Maybe someday my kid will take his old lady on a spin around the block on his hog.

What I've Learned on Maternity Leave

Yesterday Charlie was 6 weeks old already! As I was reflecting over the past six weeks I discovered something that was pretty unexpected for me. I have found that I would dearly, dearly love to be a stay at home mom. I didn't really expect to feel this way. When I had Evan, perhaps because I had to do everything on my own, I really welcomed the return to work as it gave me some time off from baby care. I feel completely differently this time. Maybe it is because I am older and more confident and relaxed when it comes to child rearing. At any rate, I have an intense desire to stay home and care for my own kids. I feel a little guilty thinking this, since I have about the best daycare situation you can ask for. Charlie will go to daycare in the same place where I work, and his caregiver will be a sweet woman named Brenda and Charlie's grandma. Of course, there is that part about being off for the summer too.
I love my kiddos at school, but I wish the time I spend caring for other people's children could be spent with my own. I know it isn't possible right now for a variety of reasons, and I understand that and know it can't be changed. But, I guess I just know now that my first love is being a mom, and being with my own children.