Bitterly Disapointed

Our trip to Minnesota is coming up in a couple of weeks...and I am so sad about it. I had been looking forward to it so much as a way to spend some uniterrupted time with Jeff (especially before #3 arrives) and as a family. Only...Jeff isn't going. We decided that Jeff should probably save his vacation days for when the baby is born, and for if any of the kids get sick in the fall. (I can't afford to miss any days before the baby is born...literally as it costs me $125 a day to pay the sub). I am so disapointed about the whole thing, but I am trying to put a brave face on it for Evan who is beside himself with excitement. I am also sad, because I think Jeff is happy about it. He is a hermit at heart, and I think he is glad to get us out of the house for a week and be on his own. Which depresses me in several ways-the obvious being that I wish he wanted to be with us more, and also because yet again, he gets alone time, and I am stuck by myself with the kids on vacation. Lovely! I try not to begrudge him the alone time he gets every day, but it is hard. I am even jealous he gets to drive in the car by himself! I don't forsee this happening for me for about the next 18 years or so. I know with finances being what they are, we probably won't be going on another vacation for awhile, so I am so bummed to be taking this last trip without him. It is funny, but sometimes since we've gotten married, I feel more like a single person than when I was single! I guess it's just more obvious to you and feels worse when you have another half, and they are always missing. I guess the other thing is that our 1st wedding anniversary falls in the last part of the trip. We were going to go out and do something special to celebrate while we were up there, and now I won't really see him at all that day. Ugh. I hate thinking about it.

My Mother Rocks

So...Charlie has been pretty grumpy the last week, which is very unlike him, and he hasn't been sleeping very well (also unlike him), and he hasn't been wanting to eat very well. I have been going along for several days assuming that he was teething. He got his first two teeth about a month and a half ago, so this seemed logical, and he was having some of the symptoms. I finally called my Mom to whine to her yesterday afternoon after Charlie had been awake ALL DAY LONG for the third day in a row, refusing to take a nap. I live for my afternoon nap, and not having one for three days was killing me. She said right away, "I think he has an ear infection. You should take him to the doctor right away." So I did late yesterday, and guess what? DOUBLE EAR INFECTIONS!!! How does she know these things? I don't know what I would do without her. Charlie is now on a mega antibiotic, so I am hoping it kicks in fast, before I turn into a zombie from lack of sleep.

Pools

The boys and I went to K-Mart the other day, which is now apparently another name for ghost town. I have never liked this store as it gives me the creeps, and I probably haven't been to one in about 2 years, but they were having a sale on backyard pools so I sucked it up and went in. I have been saving some birthday money from last year for forever in search of something that I could get to share with the family, and specifically the boys. I found one of those easy set pools on sale for about 50% off in their Sunday add, so I had to go. Normally, we go swimming at my parent's house, since it is a chance for me to get out of the house, to have some help with the kids, and to relax in a way I can't at home being the only adult around. But, I thought we would get this for emergencies when we can't get over there, and truthfully I don't know what kind of helacious chaos my life will be next summer (can you tell how excited I am to be the mother of 2 under 2?) So the dimensions on the pool didn't seem overly big at the store. Those of you that know me well are thinking, mmm hmmm, we know about your lack of geometry, math, etc. skills. It turns out that a diameter of 10 feet is a lot bigger than I thought.

Sad News

My family and I received sad news this week...my Grandma Rose (my Mom's mother) was just diagnosed with breast cancer. They have found a tumor in each breast. Grandma Rose is one of my favorite people in the whole world. Both of my grandmothers have been extremely inspirational to me throughout my life. I have been feeling a lot closer to Grandma lately as well, as she has gone through "irish twins" and it has helped me so much to talk to her about things. I think it is even scarier for us because we have already had to watch my mom go through the treatments for this disease, and I think it is worse knowing what is coming. I remember how hard it was for my mom, who was only 51 at the time, and I can't imagine an 85 year old having to endure that.

It has also shaken Sarah and I up a bit, because my mom's doctor told her that this now establishes for us a "family genetic trend/history" for breast cancer. Growing up, I never in a million years thought I would have to think about this. Our chances of getting breast cancer as women who's mother and grandmother have had the disease have now risen to 65%. That blows me away.

So, whatever your religious inclination might be, I would appreciate any thoughts and/or prayers!

My Two Favorite Toddlers

I got to spend time this last weekend with two of my favorite children (other than my own...) Alyssa and my nephew Colin! I was soooo excited on Saturday because I got to babysit Alyssa for a couple of hours while Adam and Christi went out to lunch. I got to see what it is like having another girl around. Alyssa is the most adorable little thing...she didn't make a peep when Christi left, and she was so much fun to play with. She took my hand and would lead me somewhere new when she needed a change of scenery and she called me Dee. I am so glad to be a part of this little ones life. I also got to hang out with my nephew Colin on Sunday night. He just cracks me up. He is talking a mile a minute and has just started putting sentences together. Charlie was in the exersaucer, and I kept putting a couple toys on the ledge for him to play with. Everytime, Colin would come up, take them away and say clear as day "Mine Char Char (what he calls Charlie) Not you!" A little bit of rivalry already! Lucky for Colin, Charlie just laughed at him, since he loves to just look at him. I just love it when they start talking and you find out what they are thinking. I am so excited to see Charlie at this age. It will be so much fun...

Yes, I know...

I should have prefaced my survey of my last entry with "Yes, I KNOW it is supposed to be two words, but..." 1) I am a girl and cannot possibly give just 2 word answers to anything and 2) it's my blog so I should be able to be as wordy as I want, right? I know I just annoyed half the population, so I apologize!

I have just discovered the thing that will make my summer heaven...on Soapnet everyday at 4:00 they show the most WONDERFUL TV show ever made...BEVERLY HILLS 90210!!!!! I have been in withdrawl ever since they took it off FX. I am in paradise!!

About Me...

I got these from my friend Sarah's blog...I don't usually do them, but I am actually sitting alone at the computer tonight, so I thought I would.


Two Word Survey

1. Yourself: Young Mom

2. Your car: Sienna Minivan

3. Your Hair: Very Short! (I just cut it and I LOVE it!)

4. Your mother: One of my best friends

5. Your Father: My hero

6. Your Favorite Item: My Blankie

7. Your Dream Last Night: I can't stay asleep long enough to have a dream (trips to the bathroom...prego bladder)

8. Your Favorite Drink: Coca Cola...leaded, not diet

9. Your Dream Home: a 3 story with the kids bedrooms on the 2nd floor, the entire 3rd floor being a master suite

10. The Room You Are In:Downstairs TV Room

11. Your Pets:a dog named Trudy and a guinea pig named Samson

12. Your fear:BIRD FLU!!

13. Where You Want to be in Ten Years:I want three children who can occupy, feed, and take care of their toileting needs themselves, allowing their mother time to do something by herself. I would even settle for being able to use the bathroom by myself without bringing an infant with me

14. Who you hung out with last nite:my kids

15. What You’re Not:skinny...it is hard for me to believe that this is the same body that was anorexically, skeletally skinny. Now I am just round...everywhere.

16. Your Best Friends:my husband...most of the time...Christi, my sister Sarah, my mom

17. One of Your Wish List Items:A Nanny

18. Your Gender:Female

19. The Last Thing You Did:Water my grass...I can't stand yucky lawns

20. What You Are Wearing:a new sleeveless prego outfit...normally I don't wear sleeveless outfits, but I am beyond caring and just want to be comfortable

21. Your Favorite Weather:Thunderstorms...or temps in the 90s...my kids and I are fish in the summer

22. Your Favorite Book:The Outsiders

23. The Last Thing You Ate:Orange Sherbet

24. Your Life:hectic and kid centered

25. Your mood:anxious

26. The last person you talked to on the phone:my daddy

Ultrasound #1

I got to "see" our new little one for the first time today! The ultrasound was to date the baby, which means take measurements of the baby to establish a more exact due date. I went in expecting to see a "peanut"; the little round blob with a beating heart that doesn't look anything like a baby. Only we saw a baby with arms, legs, ears, and everything else!!!! They are now telling me I am 12 weeks along, and my due date has been moved up to December 10th (Jeff's Dad's birthday). My Aunt Connie's is December 13th, and my Mom's is December 14th, so we are sure to hit somebody's. I am not sure how I feel about all this....I seem to be rushing right along. It was so nice to see the baby though. I felt this instant rush of love and protectiveness, just like I did with my other two, and for the first time I am truly feeling connected to the baby, excited, and happy to welcome it into our family. The heartrate was 168...very girlish...but I am NOT letting myself get my hopes up. Well, not too much anyway.

They are Truly Brothers

I have had the intense priviledge over the past week of watching my two sons become truly brothers. Evan has always been interested in Charlie, but Charlie has just started to be able to interact with him. Usually while we are eating dinner I hold Charlie on my lap, as he likes to be part of the action. The last few days, his whole attention has been focused on Evan, and he has babbled away to him the entire meal in cute baby conversation. He even starts giggling every time Evan smiles at him. If Evan crosses his field of vision, he smiles and laughs at him, and of course, Evan is just tickled. Evan was upset with me last night because I forgot to bring Charlie in to say good night to him and get a kiss. It has just melted my heart! I know we also have arguments and rivalry ahead of us, but what a treat to watch your children form that bond that will hold them close. I remember being so worried when I was pregnant if this baby was the right thing for Evan, and this has really driven it home that it is EXACTLY what Evan needed.

So...shout out to Christi...yes, your relationship with Alyssa might change, but in a good way. And what a blessing for both of you for her to have a whole new person to love the rest of her life. I know you will just melt to pieces when you see this happening with your own. I can't wait to watch!

The Cat's Out of the Bag

I let Evan spill the beans to everyone at school today. My tummy is just getting too noticeable, and I knew people were going to figure it out soon anywyay. Many people have been totally supportive...and some have said things like "Congratulations...I guess!" Now, of course, this is exactly how I truly do feel about the situation, a little duplicitous. However, I can't imagine saying that to someone else. Isn't a baby always a blessing? Yes, I am nervous about the work and time committment etcetera, but I still feel blessed to be having a child.

I went out for the afternoon with my Mom on Saturday. She took me out to lunch and then bought me some maternity clothes at Motherhood. Jeff watched the kiddos while I had a BLESSED afternoon to myself. I felt so much more myself after I had this time alone. It was great to just spend some one on one time with my mom, which we don't get as often anymore with all of these grandkids running around. I am so excited about my new clothes too...I got some fun summer stuff. Thank goodness for Moms!!! There's nobody else who can make you feel better like your Mom, especially when it's a problem that only a mother understands, like being so in need of time for yourself that you feel like you are going crazy sometimes. I love my kids, but sometimes, you just need a break!

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

On Sunday morning, I was in the middle of a cough when I felt a strain in my back. About half an hour later, I was lifting Charlie the 20 lb. 4 month old in his car seat (which probably equals a total of about 30 lbs.) and I heard a POP! in my back. I could barely straighten up after this happened. I have been in intense back pain ever since. I have somehow made it through the last three days of work, because I am out of sick days, and have no desire to pay the substitute $125 out of my own pocket. This included yesterday, when we went on a field trip to Gifford Farm, and walked for what the tour guides told us was a 2 mile tour. I have no idea how I made it through that. I was determined not to miss it, since it is my favorite 1st grade field trip, and I wanted to have that experience with Evan. I finally called the doctor today since it just isn't getting any better, and she said it is because Charlie (who at the time was the gargantuan 10 pound newborn) really stretched out my tummy muscles, and they never had a chance to go back before this one decided to stretch them out some more. She suggested (and I giggle everytime I think of it) wearing a pregnancy support belt, which looks like one of those things that forklift operators wear. I should be in the height of fashion!! But, the pain is severe enough that I am willing to do it. The thought of being able to stand up straight sounds like heaven to me. Not that I am trying to be a martyr (well, not completely anyway) but the sad thing about all of this is that your children never completely realize what you do for them. At least not the boys. Evan and Charlie will never realize the physical effort I put into bringing them into the world. I have a COMPLETE new appreciation for my mother after going through all of this. Especially since three of her children were over 10 pounds. UGH! On a positive note, another teacher at my school who just had a baby the first week in September is also pregnant again, and she has the same due date that I do. Hers will not be as close together as mine of course, but I have someone to go through it with at school, and at least I will not be the sole focus of attention.

My Awesome Dad

My dad sent me this prayer for Mother's Day:

Father of Life,



We thank you for the expectant mother who carries this growing hope
in her life and into our world. Bless her and the living promise of
this child and help her to manage the mix of joys, fears and
anxieties she may have about the time ahead.



As she watches her body change, may she grow in your own loving
kindness and compassion. Let her be inspired by Mary and Joseph who
model a loving family life and give her the courage to guide her
children in a faith-filled life.



Be with her in her gladness these days and deepen her faith, so that
labor might be a time of strength and prayer. Guard the health of
her baby and give her the peace of mind that may so often seem
elusive in this time.



With your grace, she will be ready for the end of this expectant
time and ready to take on the joys and challenges of parenthood.



May she praise you with Mary:

“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit exalts in
God my savior.”


Isn't he sweet? I am so lucky to have him. It helped to cheer me up to read it, and to know that he is praying for me.

Update

The ride to the doctors today was so sureal. I never thought I would be doing this again so soon. I remember driving for my six week check and thinking, "It's so nice I won't be coming back here all the time!" Wrong! Anyway, the doctor has "guestimated" that I am 10 weeks along already, and has put my temporary due date at...as if things could get any worse....DECEMBER 25TH!!!! What are the statistical chances of that crap? She says my uterus is actually feeling in size that I am 12 weeks or farther, but she thinks it is just because it didn't have a chance to deflate from Charlie completely. She listened with the doplar machine and heard the blood flow already established in the placenta putting me at past 8 weeks, but she couldn't hear the heart beat so I can't yet be 12. This also matches what Jeff and I think may be the possible conception date, so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I will be getting an ultrasound on May 30th to get a more specific age for the baby. It was really nice to talk to Cindy my midwife, and Dr. Clemmer the OB. They were both so upbeat and positive about the whole situation that I ended up feeling a lot better about things after I left. (Well, except for the due date of course, that is still ridiculous.) I had about 4 gallons of blood taken, and lots of tests run, so hopefully everything comes out okay.

Nervous Nervous Nervous

I am headed to the ObGyn today at 4:00 to have my initial appointment and hopefully have her sort out this mess and give me a due date. I am really nervous for some reason. I will post more info as we get it. I told my principal and assistant principal about the baby yesterday because I have to get out of a meeting for this appointment. They were really supportive, so that was nice. One hurdle down, a million to go!

Hot Tub Bliss

This weekend Jeff and I continued to unpack. I think we will be doing this for the rest of our lives. We did accomplish one major thing though...we emptied the hot tub, cleaned it out, refilled it, and figured out all of the moomba joomba you have to add to regulate the water. We took our maiden voyage in the tub last night. I think that every married couple should have a hot tub. What a fabulous thing to stick the kids in bed, and leave the world behind for an hour or so. I think there would be a lot less divorce if everyone had one of these!!! We had a great chance to relax, talk, and just be together.

In Charlie news, he has his first two teeth (bottom front) and he has started rolling over. He is changing so fast! I can't believe we are coming up on his 4 month birthday.

Bombshell

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time."
~ Sir Winston Churchill
This is going to be my mantra for my life over the next several years. Jeff and I found out last Tuesday, the day after we closed on the new house mind you, that I am pregnant again. I'll wait a few seconds for everyone to pick themselves up from the floor or to reattach their jaws. We had been shopping for our new fridge on Monday afternoon and I had to go to the bathroom a lot. Jeff said that I was acting pregnant. I of course thought he was crazy, but wanting to put his mind at ease, bought a test the next day, intending to make him feel better and assure him that I wasn't. Only I was. It immediately turned positive. At first, I was completely devastated. Physically and emotionally I didn't feel ready to have another child. I guess I still don't physically. Having a 10 pounder takes it out of you. I hope there are enough nutrients left in this body of mine for the new one. Emotionally, I am feeling better. Jeff and I have decided that this is most assuredly our last one, so I feel better knowing this is the last time (although a bit melancholy about it as well). I love the fact that Charlie will have someone to be close to and to have as a playmate. I know that we will get through that first tough year, and after that I will love it. We will be done with diapers pretty close to the same time, potty train around the same time, etc. Also, I have one more chance for a girl. Not that I'm counting on that one. I am preparing myself to have "my three sons", which would be nice too. I love my boys. So anyway, I guess this blog might become a pretty interesting place as I document the absolute CHAOS at the Micek/Kleffman house.
In other news, Jeff is back from Atlanta (Praise the Lord!!!) I have been missing him oodles. It will be nice to have my own personal space heater back in bed. Has anyone ever noticed the amount of heat that males put off while they are asleep? They are better than electric blankets.

Getting Settled

We are now officially into the new house!! We got everything in, through torrential rain and mud. We have a few spots on the carpet to clean up, but nothing too bad for the amount of moisture we had. We have the living room, kitchen, and kids rooms done (with the exception of pictures on the walls). Jeff and I's room is livable. My project for the rest of the week is to get everything in from the garage and put away, and then we can start on the basement.
I just found out from Adam's blog that Mark is pregnant (well Amy is I guess). Congrats Mark!!! (Even though you didn't tell me).

Chaos Day

It's officially here....moving day! And of course it is supposed to rain Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. The Kleffmans have a tremendous propensity to attract bad luck. My mom and I cleaned the entire house on Wednesday night, and last night we moved in all of the boxes for the kitchen, and have the entire kitchen set up and ready to go. My goal is to have at least the kitchen, bathrooms, and kids rooms mostly put together before Jeff leaves on his business trip on Sunday morning. Wish us luck!!

New Keys

It's officially official! Jeff and I closed on the house yesterday!!! What an experience...writing your name about 20,000 times (yes, Jeff I KNOW I am exagerating). We had an interesting end experience with our lender, Lending Tree. We had been pretty happy with the other people we worked with, and the beginning of the process. Towards the end we were assigned to our loan processor. I don't know if she just started working there or what, but she knew NOTHING! To make a long story short, she tried to over charge us on our final statement by around $3,000. She also forgot to wire the funds to the title office prior to our closing, so it was a bit of a fiasco and we had to wait around a bit, but my awesome accountant husband caught all of her errors, and it turned out okay in the end. (I am hoping Adam that you and Christi chose another company....sorry!!! It had all been good when I talked to you!!!) Anyway, we now have keys, and we take possession tomorrow. The people leaving are having the carpets cleaned by Stanley Steamer for us today so that I don't have to go in tomorrow and do it myself (joy of joys!) My mom and I are heading over tomorrow night to clean cupboards, bathrooms, etc. and then we start moving in clothes and small stuff Thursday night. The CREW comes on Friday, and we do the big stuff then. I can't believe it! To celebrate we bought our new refrigerator, which will be arriving on Saturday. EEEEEEKKK!!!!!

Final Walkthrough

We had our final walk through on the house yesterday evening. The couple we are buying the house from were there when we went through, which at first made me uncomfortable because I didn't want to be turning on and off the lights and running the appliances while they were still there. But it turned out to be a really nice thing. They are a sweet as pie older couple, and the husband, Ron, took us on a tour through the house where he pointed out to us how to work all of the gadgets and appliances, how to change filters here and there, how the new radon mitigation system works, and how to care for the hot tub. He even pointed out features to us that we hadn't noticed initially-like that there is a gas line hook up on the outside of the house right off the deck so that we can hook up a gas grill without ever having to worry about a propane tank!!! Everytime I go through the house I love it more and more. So everything checked out, and we are set to close tomorrow at 12:00. YIKES!! WE ALMOST OWN THE HOUSE FOR REAL!!!!!
We packed like madmen all weekend, and ended up with a house full of chaos and boxes, and super sore muscles and backs. We went out for dinner yesterday at Village Inn just to pretend for an hour we don't live like horses in a barn, and to sit on our butts for a bit. The waiter was kind enough to forget to ring in our order, so we got FREE PIE!!! Which is exactly what I needed to end a heck of a day. I cannot wait until this is done, and I can start putting things away and knowing they will stay there. I cannot wait until I can go in my hot tub with a book and relax. Maybe with a beer even. Who am I kidding? I hate beer. Maybe a wine cooler.