Spring

I am not usually one who is depressed by winter.  I mean, what teacher doesn't love a good snow day, right?  I don't mind snow much, mostly because I don't often have to drive to work in it.  Instead it usually means cozy days snuggled under blankets, a fire in the fireplace, and baking cookies with my boys.  Most years I don't mind waiting patiently for spring.  As a Nebraskan, this serves me well, as spring can often take it's own sweet time in arriving.

This year feels different.  I am very anxious for warm weather and sunny skies.  The stark snow and barren landscapes of winter have seemed too close to my own emotional outlook this year, and have felt  oppressive.  I think I am hoping that the cheery sound of chirping birds, sunny skies, and warm breezes can help transport me out of this season of grief.

I am learning that grief doesn't go away.  I thought at first it might.  The sharpness of it will dull with time, but it never leaves.  We are all adjusting to our new roles in life, the altered picture of our family.  I don't know if it will ever feel normal, or okay, but it is becoming less "new".  I am learning to deal with it, but it was somewhat of a surprise to me that everyday still brings tears.  Every single day.  I don't know if that will ever change.  And I guess if it doesn't, you just learn to keep going.

I am hoping the arrival of a new season, the season of new life, will help breathe new life into my heart.  I am feeling ready for some happy and some sunshine.  I know my Dad wants that for us to.

My Girls

We had a wedding shower on Saturday for my brother Creighton's fiance Lindsey.  It was so much fun to spoil her and see family and friends!  My Aunt Connie took this awesome picture of my sister Sarah, me, and Lindsey.  I love it!  I also love that Lindsey is now an official member of the family.  I tell Creighton all the time that if I could choose anyone to join our family, it would be Lindsey.  She is wonderful, and we are so lucky.

My niece Brooke is in the corner.  Besides my Mom, we are the ONLY girls in our family!  Can you believe it?  Sarah is currently pregnant with the 6th grandson for my parents. 

I hope Lindsey's future includes some girl babies for us to love!

My Cuite Bug

Isn't he just stinkin' adorable?!

When he put them on for the first time at the eye doctor, he looked around for a minute, gasped, and said, "Oh Mommy!  It's beautiful!  I can see so much STUFF!  And hey!  Did you know there's a Taco Bell across the street?  I've never seen that before!"  It was precious.  I am amazed at how well he functioned without them.  It makes me sad that we didn't notice he needed them sooner!

Later that night, Sammy had swimming lessons.  After I had given him a shower in the locker room, I put his glasses back on.  He looked down at the floor and exclaimed, "OH MY GOODNESS!  There is all kinds of yucky dirt on this floor!  Why didn't anybody tell me about this?"  Oh the details you can see with your glasses on!!  Everyday since has brought new discoveries for Sammy, now that he can finally see the world around him,

Sammy's Getting Glasses!

Sammy and Evan have had a busy 2011.  They've been busy making lots of medical bills! :)

In January, you might remember that Sam had his run in with the toybox and got 7 stitches.  In February, we took him to the eye doctor after he failed his eye check at his 4 year check up.  We found out he is slightly near sighted, but more importantly has a rather severe astigmatism, which makes everything extremely blurry for him.  Ever since, we've been trying to get glasses ordered for him.  My adorable Sammy has the BIGGEST blue eyes you've ever seen.  But apparently they are so big it means that we need to have glasses custom made in order to fit his face.  I think we may finally have a pair we can order this week.

Evan, meanwhile, has been making many trips to the orthodontist so that we could have an evaluation done.  We discovered that his bottom jaw is bigger than the top jaw, making it impossible for him to chew on his molars.  As he begins to grow, the problem is going to get worse, and eventually he won't even be able to chew with his front teeth.  The problem is genetic, and we were lucky enough to have the orthodontist tell us it's the worst case he's ever seen.  Awesome!  So for now, Evan is going to have braces put on for the next year to make a temporary fix that will allow him to chew for the next few years.  When he stops growing at 16 or 17, he will need more orthodontics, and jaw surgery where they will remove a significant portion of the jaw bone and reshape his bite.

I don't know how I managed it, but I think I have passed on the absolute worst of my genetics to my poor kiddos.  Thank goodness we live in a time where there are ways to fix and deal with these things!  Now I just have to pray my poor husband doesn't collapse at the thought of all our medical bills :).

My Kids Ate My Blog

I can't believe I haven't been here since January. 

I love my blog, but my life?  It likes me to stay SUPER busy.  You know the story...work, drive kids around to activities, doctor appointments, homework, drive kids around to more activities, try to keep the house clean.  So I won't bore you with the details.

Today I am home with a sick Sammy Bear.  He has a fever, aches, headache, and a deep wet cough.  My guess is the flu, so we are off to the doctor this morning.  With the boys' asthma, we don't mess around with lung issues/infections.

All of which has left me some time to write while my baby is snuggled up next to me, sweating his way through his fever.  We have some exciting things happening around here I would love to tell you about!

My brother is getting married in 6 short weeks, which has provided us with a flurry of wedding activity!  We've been busy making 600 mints, addressing invitations, picking out dresses, and getting fitted for tuxes.  Speaking of dresses, my bridesmaid dress came in yesterday.  When I tried it on, we discovered it was fine in the waist but would barely zip around my rib cage.  So, I will be getting a few ribs removed so that I can zip my dress and not pass out from lack of oxygen at the ceremony.

Just kidding.  But I do hope the seamstress can work miracles, or I will have to give up breathing for the day.

Charlie is getting geared up for Kindergarten round up on April 1st.  He is SO excited and SO nervous.  Every day he is full of questions like, "What if my teacher is mean?"  "What if I don't like it?"  "What if I don't know everything they teach me?"  I remember feeling the same way.  Poor baby.

I am counting down the days to summer.  I have vowed to NOT sign the kids up for anything other than once a week swim lessons.  We need some healing of hearts and minds around here, and I think some time to slow down and relax is just the thing.

We are in the depths of tax season, which means that my poor Jeff is working so hard.  I am so grateful he is such a good provider for our family.  I love that he has such a wonderful work ethic.  But I do worry about him this time of year.  I am praying he stays healthy, and that the stress doesn't adversely affect him.  And I miss him terribly.  I just can't get my fill of that guy.  Have I mentioned lately that I love my husband?

Me?  I've been getting by.  Every day includes a moment where I am hit by a wave of loneliness and sadness for my Dad.  I've learned to let it wash over me, and to pray pray pray.  I am trying to focus on strengthening my relationship with the Lord to get me through.  My church choir is one of the high points of my week.  The singing helps brighten my week and my soul.  I'm so glad I have music to turn to.  I've also put pictures and sayings about my Dad all over my house.  It helps me to see his face everyday, and to send him a message to heaven that I love him.

Thank goodness spring is on the way!  I am dreaming of birds tweeting, warm sunshine, and planting some flowers in my yard.  Only a few more weeks....