Oh my lord, what a week!

Here is what I know...I firmly believe that Labor Day should ALWAYS be there waiting for me at the end of the first week of school.  This day off is precisely what my family and I  needed to continue recovering from the whirlwind of last week.

On Monday, Evan began 8th grade:

 Sammy had his first day of Kindergarten:

 And Charlie became a 1st grader!

I am having all of the usual Mommy feelings...I can't believe how grown up they are, I can't believe my baby is in Kindergarten, etc.  My own eighth grade experience doesn't seem all that far away, so how can I possibly have a child in 8th grade?  By the way, I personally felt that 8th grade was the equivalent of torture on so many levels, so I can only hope that Evan's year goes much better than mine did.

This year, Charlie's classroom is to the right of mine, and Sammy's is to my left, so they are very close.  I love that.  I get to see them in the hallways, at the bathroom, in the lunchroom.  It makes the separation easier for me.  I miss them so gosh dang much when we are at school.  And if there's a problem, their teachers know right where to find me!

Charlie was eagerly awaiting the start of school all summer.  He loves learning, reading, working, and homework.  He was so excited for school this week, he had a hard time falling asleep each night.

Evan has had a good week so far, but the homework hasn't really kicked in either.  I am waiting with baited breath in the hopes this is a better year for him.  We had so many troubles in 7th grade that I am often surprised both of us made it through.  I wish there was a wand I could wave that would make school easier.

Sammy isn't sure yet.  He went off to his classroom happily enough each day, but he has reported he doesn't like it that much.  Sammy is my worrier.  He stresses all of the small stuff, and I think that makes change hard.  I am hopeful that as school becomes more of the norm for him, that it gets much easier.

I started my 13th year of teaching on Monday.  I am finding that I have to work hard to change something in the way I teach or in my classroom each year to make it fresh.  I love teaching 1st grade, but I think I have been doing it so long it can almost become drudgery.  I have been working this week to stay positive.  The first weeks of school always feel to me like I have a houseful of house guests.  We are all busy getting to know each other, rules, and routines, and it just isn't comfortable yet, which is tiring in and of itself.  Here's hoping this week will be easier!

Jeff and I continue to explore me staying home next year.   We had the first of many budget meetings last night.  So far, I am loving how this seems to be a great exercise in letting go and trusting God.  We are becoming better at communicating with each other as well.  So, even if this doesn't work out for us, just going through this experiment will bring us many benefits.  I love feeling like Jeff and I are a tight team, with God as our head.  Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband?  I admire him so much, and I love how hard he works for us.  Really.  I am so lucky to have him.

How is your school year going?  Are your kids back to school yet?

A long time...

Wow.  It's been a long time since I've written in this space.

Last weekend, Sammy, Evan, and I went to a family reunion for my Dad's side of the family.  We had a GREAT time!  I don't get to see my family nearly as often as I would like to, especially my cousins now that we all have families.  While I was there, I talked to one of my favorite people, my Aunt Joyce.  She reminded me to write some new posts here, so here I am!  (Hi Aunt Joyce!!)  It was nice to be reminded by family that people still check in here, and that this is still a good way to keep in touch.

So what's new?

We've had a wonderful summer.  So wonderful in fact it has prompted Jeff and I to consider whether it is time to make some changes in our work situation for our family.  I love my job.  I love teaching.  I have always, ALWAYS felt that I was called by God to be a teacher, and that He gave me certain gifts to help me accomplish a mission he had in mind for me in the classroom.  The hard part of teaching is that it absolutely is NOT a 9-5 job.  I spend hours after work and on the weekends creating learning materials, grading, lesson planning, etc.  This is easier said than done when you have three kids, and you are a wife.  Although I feel that teaching is a calling for me, I also feel that being a wife and a Mom is a God sent calling, one that takes the highest priority.

This summer, as I had time to relax, enjoy my kids, and actually get things done around my house, we came to some conclusions.  The first was that other people's kids always get my best.  That's tough for me to think about.  I want my best to go to my own children, especially when two of my kids are very high needs.  Secondly, I realized that I am never able to do anything really to the best of my ability, because I don't have time.  Being split in so many different directions is not allowing me to get anything done well.  I also discovered how much stress I am carrying around with me during the school year, and how much that is affecting my marriage and my kids.

Sooooo, we have been toying around with the idea of me staying home next year.  I have reservations about both sides of the decision, but I truly feel that we are being called to consider this as the next stage for our family.  If things can come together financially, we will see how it goes.  We are going to be thinking and praying hard about this during the school year.

Evan is getting ready to start his 8th grade year.  Junior high is never a super enjoyable time for anyone, but last year was especially hard for Evan.  As he works through the upper grades, his learning disabilities are really making things awful.  We made the decision that he needs to go to a public high school to receive the appropriate special education help.  It was a hard realization to come to.  I really wanted him to be able to have the private high school experience, but I know in my gut it isn't the right place for him.  Hopefully this year is a bit better.

Charlie is giving me a run for my money.  I love him to pieces, and he can have a heart of gold, but he is also very stubborn and willful.  He is still having massive temper tantrums, and we have been going to therapy for about a year.  I am not seeing any major improvements yet, but they always have good suggestions for us to try, and that gives me hope.  Luckily, he is an angel at school, and he is incredibly smart, so at least part of the parenting job with him is easy.

God bless Sammy.  He is a ray of sunshine in our family.  Always happy, always smiling, always giving hugs.  Hardly ever needs redirection or discipline.  I think God knew I had my hands full and needed a sweet pea.  He is starting Kindergarten in a few weeks, and that makes me sad.  They grow so fast.  As all mothers do, I long for time to slow waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down so I have longer to enjoy my babies and my family.

Jeff and I celebrated 7 years of marriage on July 22nd.  I am crazy in love with that guy.  We get better at marriage every year, and it gets to be more and more fun all the time.  It really surprised me when I got married how much work marriage is.  Work that is worth it, but hard as well.  My parents were so good at marriage they made it look easy.  Maybe someday Jeff and I will give that impression as well.  In the meantime, I am super blessed to have a husband who balances me, believes in me, puts up with me, and supports my dreams.  He was definitely worth the wait!

And me?  I am feeling better about myself than I have in a long time.  Last November, I went to my doctor, very frustrated with how I was getting nowhere with my health goals, despite healthy eating and exercise.  He did a lot of tests, and determined that my weight struggles were related to my issues with insulin resistance.  He put me on a low carb diet, and for the first time in my life, the weight began to melt away.  It was such a relief to begin to see the me I knew was in there in the mirror again.  Since then, I have lost a total of 45 pounds.  I have been feeling so much better physically, I have been able to go back to running in full force.  I've been able to get in a total of 12-15 miles a week, which for me as a busy Mom is GREAT.  My runs are great "me" time, where I can destress, think, and get healthy.  I love looking better and feeling better, but most of all I love feeling more confident about my overall health.  When my Dad died at only 58, my cardiologist told me I was in a very high risk group for also dying early of a heart attack.  I do NOT want to leave my family one minute earlier than I absolutely have to.  I can at least rest easier knowing that I am doing my best to improve my odds.  Thank goodness for my patient doctor who has been willing to do research and stick with me.

Now that it is August, I have been working my tootie off on my classroom.  I am trying to work up some excitement for the coming school year.  That usually comes more for me in October, once the students and I have settled in.  August is a rush to get everything done.  I always wish I could fast forward through the first few weeks.

I know I've said this before, but I am going to try and get back to this space on the web more regularly.  I always feel better when I do.  I am hoping to post some pictures this weekend.

Oh blog...how I've missed you!

This spring has been crazy busy for us.  It's meant I have been kept busy keeping my family going, with precious little time to sit at the computer and record my thoughts.  I am excited to see summer at my doorstep (we have our last day of school this Wednesday!!  WOOOHOO!!) when I will have time to catch up here at the Sole Woman, on the house, and with my kids.

April was a month of drastic changes for my family.  On April 2nd, my wonderful Grandma Rose passed away.  She was just short of 90 years young.  She was miserable at the end, and was dealing with congestive heart failure, so in some ways her passing was a blessing.  I am filled with happiness to know she is once again with my Grandpa, her parents, and her brothers and sisters.  After loosing my Dad, I have a different perspective on death.  Death is so hard on those of us left behind, but I have a new respect for the joy they must be feeling in heaven with Jesus.  In many ways, I don't know if I've been truly able to process her death.  I am still feeling pretty numb from Dad's death.  Her funeral and the events around it were a little too much to deal with at the time.

Two weeks later, on April 16th, my little brother Creighton married the love of his life, Lindsey.

It was a perfect day and a perfect ceremony.  I love them both beyond measure, and I am so excited Lindsey is my official sister.  I've felt that she has been for awhile, so it was nice to make it official formally true.

The combined effect of the funeral and wedding plus Easter the next weekend all made us feel like we were a bit bipolar and having massive mood swings.  We are all looking forward to a little down time, and some recovery time.

Looking forward to seeing my blog on a regular basis!

Happy Anniversary

Today would have been my parent's 36th wedding anniversary.

I have been thinking about my Dad, and my parent's marriage all day long. One of the biggest blessings that God has given me is my parent's example of marriage. My Dad and Mom were always loving and kind to each other. I can only remember them arguing in front of us kids once when I was growing up. This doesn't mean they didn't have differing opinions, but they were so respectful and kind to each other when they did.

My Dad always spoiled my Mom on special days like birthdays and anniversaries, but he did special things for her in the everyday moments too. He provided me with a wonderful example of what a husband can be, should be, and needs to be. His example helped lead me to Jeff, and I am so thankful.

When my parents celebrated their 30th anniversary, my siblings and I surprised them with an anniversary party, complete with all of their friends and family. It is one of the few times we were really able to pull one off on my Dad. I will never forget his expression of shock as he walked in the door to my house and saw everyone gathered there to celebrate them. We thought we would be able to do a bigger more formal party for them when they made it to their 40th or 50th anniversary, but it turned out to be our only opportunity. I am so grateful that God gave us the inspiration to throw them that party. I am also grateful that we had a friend who is also a photographer take pictures of that night. They are treasures to me now.

I wish that my parents had been able to celebrate many more anniversaries together. But I am so lucky to have been a witness to the 35 1/2 years they were together.

I love you Mom and Dad. You are both my heroes.

5 Years

5 years ago today, I married the love of my life.



Five years! I just can't believe it has been that long. I am still in awe that we found each other, and that God has blessed us with this time together. Marriage is not easy, but Jeff makes it all worth it.

And even though these five years have sped by, it has been long enough to create this...


Taken outside our cabin on our recent lake trip

The family I always wanted. From the time I was very young, I knew that God wanted me to be a wife, a mom, and a teacher. I felt these callings deep down in my heart, and I spent a lot of time dreaming about them. And now that I have these people to love and call my own? Awesome. I am so, SO blessed!

Happy Anniversary Jeff! I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for walking through life with me!

She Hit the Nail on the Head

Go read cjane's post today. She hit the nail on the head, and said everything I have been trying to write here within the last couple of months. Only she did it much more eloquently.

In fact, cjane is one of the most eloquent ladies I know.

So! Go read. What she says is so true, and I am so there with her. Are you?

Independence

Two weeks ago, Jeff and I took a quick trip down to the KC area to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. It was just three nights, but it was the first time we have taken a trip together, with or without kids, since our honeymoon. Which should explain right there why it was a wonderful get away.

We stayed in a bed and breakfast called the Hawthorn, which is located in Independence. It is a mansion built in 1900, which has been converted to a GORGEOUS B & B. I've never stayed in one before, but oh my goodness! HEAVEN! Here is a picture of the room where we stayed, which was a hundred times cleaner, more comfortable, and nicer than any hotel I have ever stayed in:





Right outside our room was a gourmet coffee station (and for the girl who drinks at LEAST one pot a day, this was a huge plus!) and a snack bar. Every morning, we were served an out of this world three course, fresh, homemade breakfast. In fact, on Thursday night we were the only guests, so we got first dibs on the table in the sun porch at Friday morning's breakfast. Every day started with a fresh fruit, yogurt, and granola parfait. Next came a variety of fresh out of the oven muffins, and then pancakes, hash browns, breakfast meat and eggs. We were so stuffed after all this indulgence we never had lunch one day the entire trip. Breakfast was probably my favorite part of every day. Not having to prepare food, feed three kids, and clean up afterwards was the biggest luxury. I felt completely pampered.

Although the mansion is beautiful, it turns out Independence isn't. It's a pretty scary town, actually. The whole thing is like one huge bad neighborhood, with sex shops, cruddy convenience stores with shady people lurking in the parking lot, and lots of crime. Sprinkled here and there throughout the town are some pretty cool historical sites, but don't wander too far off the beaten path!

A big highlight of the trip for me was our visit to the Truman Presidential Library. Beforehand, the only thing I really knew for sure about Harry Truman was that he dropped the atomic bomb on Japan. I really enjoyed learning about his life. He is one of Jeff's favorite historical figures. Jeff loves anyone who "pulls himself up by his bootstraps", and Harry Truman was certainly a bootstrap man.

This is a photo of a letter written by a father to Mr. Truman after his son was killed in the Korean War:



He sent along with the letter his son's Purple Heart. Harry kept this letter in his desk at the Oval Office for the rest of his term. It made my heart hurt to see it-a little for the parents of this young soldier, and a little for Harry Truman, who seemed to carry the loss of each soldier's life on his shoulders.

In one room they had a display of articles that appeared in Life Magazine in 1952. One of them showed this:



It's a little hard to see, but the article told of a young mother with three small children who had been stricken with polio. Having a husband who also had the disease as a child, I think all polio stories grab my attention, but I will admit I stood at looked at this picture for a good 10 minutes. The photos in the article show the mom in an iron lung, where she lay paralyzed. Hanging above her head you can see the pictures of her three children. I cried right there, thinking about how heartbroken I would be to have to lie there, unable to move, seeing my children's faces, and knowing other people were taking care of them. I wish I knew what happened to her and her family.

We also took a tour of Harry Truman's home, which actually belonged to his wife. Poor Harry had to live with his mother in law most of his adult life, who wouldn't let him sit at the head of the table, stay in the master bedroom, or display any of his treasures from the White House, even after he had been President of the United States. That's one difficult MIL.


My favorite part was the kitchen where Harry decided to put wallpaper on the ceiling, as well as the walls, because he liked the pattern so much!

Afterwards, we stopped for an ice cream at Clinton's Soda Shop where Harry Truman had his first job. Here's Jeff, making his "if you're going to take a picture of me I am going to try and look as dumb as possible so you quit trying to photograph me" face. I hate it when he does this:



Seriously. He looks like the grumpiest man in the world. But I love him anyway.

It was so nice to be away, just the two of us. I am always nervous to leave the kids, but I am always a better mom for it when I return. I wish we could get away, if only for a quick weekend, more often. But alas! The joys of having three kids, a job, and a husband with a REALLY busy work schedule make that impossible. We appreciate it all the more though when it happens. It was a great way to wrap up the summer.

We're Off!

Jeff and I are off to a short weekend getaway to a bed and breakfast in Independence, Missouri. It's our first trip alone together since our honeymoon 4 years ago. Not sure what we will do with ourselves without 3 boys to run after, but the quiet will be nice.

See you soon!

Happy Anniversary!

4 years ago today, just about now, I looked something like this:



I am on the left, no make up. My hair was just beginning it's transformation for my wedding that evening. On the right, is one of my favorite people, my friend Katy. Isn't her hair a lovely shade of red? I've always wanted to have it as my own.



And here are my two best girls, Katy and Christi, doing each other's nails at the salon that same morning.



After getting beautified, we went out to lunch at Valentinos. Every bride should go out in public with her hair and veil before the wedding. It's delicious to feel so special. And next to me, is my 5 year old Evan, on the last day it was just the two of us, before we became a new family with Jeff. Isn't his smile the greatest?!



This is my flower girl Nora. She became a student in my classroom only four weeks later! Also, Evan has loved her since birth, and someday she will be my daughter-in-law. I love her to bits.



And here I am with my sister Sarah, who was my matron of honor. She is precious to me, and I am so glad she was there to stand next to me that day. You can't tell, but she is the smidgiest bit preggers in the picture!



And this my friends? THIS is my kick ass, cathedral length train on my dress. It was the one thing I knew I needed to have when I was dress shopping.



My bouquet was a replica of the bouquet my Grandma Sophie Micek carried in her 1934 wedding, 71 years before.



And most importantly, here I am 4 years ago today, vowing to love and treasure the love of my life, for the rest of my life. And while I wouldn't have believed it possible on that day, I love him a million times more today than I did when I pledged my life to him. I have learned that marriage takes a lot of work, and I have certainly had to grow into my role as a wife, but I am so incredibly thankful every single day that I have been blessed with Jeff as my husband. He is the greatest of friends, fathers, and providers. He rocks my world, every day.

Thanks for the best 4 years of my life, Jeff. I pray we have so many more together!

Thank Goodness

I am so glad it is the weekend. This has been one of the busiest weeks EVER.

I am ready for some down time with my kids, and my husband. I have so much to do around the house that I didn't get done during the week it isn't even funny. Laundry is once again taking over my hallway. Costco is calling my name, and reminding me that if I don't get there soon Sammy won't have any diapers left, the cat will run out of food, and I won't be able to run the dishwasher. All of which would just add to the general mess of my house.

I did realize late last night that I had gotten engaged to my super duper awesome Jeff 5 years ago on Friday. Which makes for almost 6 years total together. Doesn't time fly? In some ways it feels like we just met, but then I look around and see the house, the minivan, the children, and realize that is has been awhile. I love him dearly and I am thankful for every minute we've had together!

Hope all of you have a great weekend!

Fabulous Friday

The weekend is off to such an awesome start.

I am sitting on my front stoop, watching my children zoom by in the sunshine on scooters. My adorable husband is sitting next to me. It's so nice to have him home in the evening. Did I mention he's adorable?

I grabbed pizza on the way home from school for dinner, so now I don't have to cook. We ate on paper plates so I don't have to clean up.

I just get to enjoy. Adorable kids with full tummies, adorable husband, two days of freedom in front of me.

Three weeks until school is out, and tomorrow Jeff and I are going to our annual Table for Two marriage retreat at church.

Heaven!!

Fate

As I was telling Jeff good-bye this morning before I left for work, we were both lamenting over how tired we were from tax season hours, and how much we missed each other. I told him we needed an extra special date after tax season is over to celebrate and reconnect.

As we were driving to work, fate was with us, and I heard an announcement that tickets were going on sale for a performance by Bill Cosby the weekend after tax season is over. MY FAVORITE COMEDIAN! I love love love Bill Cosby. I love the Cosby Show. I still laugh uncontrollably at the reruns. I love his sense of humor.

So, I took the bull by the horns and bought two tickets online as soon as we got to school.

I CAN'T WAIT!!! A night on the town with Jeff and Bill-two of my favorite leading men.

I'm Leavin' On a Jet Plane

Even though it's still a year and a half away, I am still super excited today! Last night Jeff and I decided we are going to take a trip, just the two of us, to celebrate our 5 year anniversary. WITH NO KIDS! We haven't been anywhere together, with or without kids, since our honeymoon. We don't know where we are going, but that doesn't really matter to me. Just getting some uninterrupted time with my handsome prince is enough for me.

Bring on the travel brochures!! WOOHOO!!!

An Instruction Manual for My Husband

My cousin Teresa wrote on her blog a couple of weeks ago about a book she was reading on marriage and being a wife. I decided to order it from Amazon and read it myself. I love my marriage and the relationship Jeff and I have, but I always feel like I could do better at being a wife, especially with three kids running around. Sometimes I feel like I am so focused on them, and work that I leave poor Jeff out of the equation.

After reading the last two nights, I feel like the author has been sitting in a corner of my house for the last three years observing me, and then wrote this book about me as a way to bang me over the head with a frying pan and say, "Get a clue girlfriend!"

The things she says to describe pitfalls many wives fall into are me to a T. She says that husbands usually fall into one of three personality types, and my darling Jeff is Mr. Steady (her term) to a T. It's as if she were writing the chapter about him specifically. In fact, last night I read him some of the chapter, and he said "That's EXACTLY what I have been trying to explain to you about how I am and how I feel! FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS!" Poor man!

The biggest thing I am learning about myself is my problem with having a negative attitude. My personality type could be labeled Mrs. Bossy. Top that off with being a first born and you have MRS. BOSSY PANTS WITH A BAD ATTITUDE. I have a strong need for control, and when that doesn't happen, I get grumpy and negative. Funny thing about marriage-you are not in control of everything anymore! To continue my downward spiral, when I cause tension in this way because I don't get my way, I react in bad ways by trying to punish those around me by being cold and unfriendly. I know this may sound stupid, but the book helped me to realize that this doesn't help at all to change anyone's behavior around me. It's probably things that I should be able to see on my own, but I didn't. And it's great to feel like I have a new insight into myself, and my Jeff, who God Bless him has been so patient with me acting like a doofus.

So, the past few days, I have been praying for wisdom. Wisdom to be cognizant of my behavior and reactions. I have been making a huge effort to have joy in my heart, and to be thankful. And you know what? It hasn't just helped my marriage, but also my job. Being a teacher can cause a lot of burn out. It's a hard job a lot of the time. But when I focus on what I can change, and being thankful, it makes a huge difference. I have loved being with my class this week. I feel renewed in ways that make me feel like I am back to the excitement I had as a first year teacher.

I am also thankful for Teresa and her blog, and for sharing such a great nugget of information with me. Isn't the wide wonderful world of blogging amazing? It's a gift the way that people can touch others' lives in ways that weren't possible just a short time ago.

I Love You Jeff!

Today is Jeff and my's 3rd wedding anniversary, and also the 5 year anniversary of our first date. It's been a whirlwind, and in so many ways I can't believe we have only been married 3 years. Just that short amount of time ago there was no Charlie, no Sammy, no house, just me and Evan.

Shortly before I met Jeff, I gave up on dating, and I gave up on ever finding the one for me. I remember breaking down in discouragement and giving everything over to God. I told Him I was getting nowhere trying to find the right guy myself, and that if it was in His plan for me to find a husband, I would let God pick him out. If not, that was okay too. About a month later, I met my wonderful husband. Not who I would have expected, but perfect for me in every way. Thank the good Lord I finally gave up trying to be in charge!

So, thank you Jeff for a wonderful 5 years, for teaching me so many things about myself, for putting up with me in all the bad times, for getting me through 2 rough pregnancies, for loving Evan as much as Charlie and Sammy, for being a wonderful leader for our family, for making me laugh everyday, and for loving me for who I am. I am honored and blessed to be your wife. Happy Anniversary!

Table for Two

Jeff and I had the best night last night. My sister came over to babysit the kiddos, and we had the whole evening to ourselves. We went to church first, which was wonderful. We haven't been to Mass together since Evan made his 1st Communion last March. It's just so hard to take two toddlers to church (one is bad enough!). I usually take Charlie and Evan while Jeff stays home with Sam, and then he goes to a different service. It was even the very first time we had ever been to church BY OURSELVES! We have always had a kid with us, so it was nice to be able to listen and just be. Afterwards, we headed to SVdP which was hosting their annual Table for Two mini marriage retreat. It is such a nice evening. They serve a five course, candlelight meal. Before each course there is a 10 minute presentation by someone who is an expert in marriage issues, and then while you eat they give each table a list of discussion items for you and your spouse related to the topic presented. Last night the speaker was an expert on the 5 Love Languages. I discovered my love language is words of affirmation, while Jeff's is acts of service. I felt as though someone handed me Jeff's instruction manual. I got so many insights into how his mind works, how he is trying to relate to me, how we can be better together. I also feel like someone put a bunch of new tools in my "marriage toolbox" to help me better deal with things. My favorite part of the evening was when they broke down the marriage vows and had you think about them as they related to your marriage today, as opposed to when you first said them at the wedding. We got a chance to say them again to our spouse, which was so much more meaningful to me at this point, three kids, a house, and everything later than when I first committed myself to Jeff. In fact, as I was looking at this man that I adore, saying these things to him, I was totally overwhelmed with love, and that thing girls are so good at started to happen to me-my eyes welled up, and Jeff looked at me in horror. He HATES crying in public places! He looked at me desperately and said "Christy, I love you so much too, but PLEASE try to stop crying! I'm not that great!!!! PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU!!" Which just made me laugh at his comic distress, so then I was crying and snorting at the same time. The snorting resulted from my efforts to try to stop doing both the laughing and the crying. I'm sure people did see me, and they probably thought I was a sap, but hey, who wouldn't cry when they realize they are married to the best guy in the whole world?