Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Thursday

Want to know what I did today? Sure you do! Thanks for humoring me.

Woke up at 5:30, got myself and three boys to school and/or daycare by 7:00. Worked a full day until 4:00. Went home, did eye therapy with Evan, made dinner, cleaned up after dinner, mowed the yard, gave the toddlers a bath, pretended I am a nurse while treating the case of hives Charlie broke out with after playing in the backyard, did 2 loads of laundry, and put the boys to bed. I did all that by myself. Jeff, God bless him, is having a busy end to the fiscal year at work, and didn't get home until 8:00.

I'm tired.

I just read a book by James Patterson called Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas. (Soooo good, but soooooo sad. If you read it, get a large box of Kleenex ready). In it, he compares life to juggling 5 balls which represent health, family, work, and 2 other things I can't even remember. All the balls are made of rubber except for family and health. Those two balls are made of glass. If you drop the work ball, it will eventually bounce back. But you can't drop family or health, because it might be damaged, and it might shatter, and it's almost impossible to fix after that.

As a working mom, I am having a hard time balancing things. I so want to get the most out of our time together in the evenings, but it seems to go by in a blur of things that need to be done- like eating, dishes, homework, and bathing. Even so, there is so much I am not getting done around the house, that weekends end up being marathon sessions of a mile long to do list to keep the family moving smoothly.

Once the boys are in bed and I exercise for the day, I am left with about 45 minutes of down time for myself for the day, if I am lucky enough to not have school work to do.

I feel like I am dropping all five balls a lot of the time, doing a halfway job with everything. I am hoping I am not cracking the glass balls as I do.

I am craving more time with my kids lately. I have been praying a lot about being a stay at home Mom. Jeff works so hard to make our family stable financially, and he does a great job. I trust his leadership completely in finances, as he can turn $5 into $500, whereas I would use that same amount to put us into debt by $5000. Jeff thinks it would be best for me to continue working at this point, so I am praying to have a gentle spirit on this front, and follow his lead. I am also praying that God will lead me into whatever role he wants me to be.

If I am meant to be a Mom and a teacher, I'm okay with that. But I wish I had a clone. Or an instruction manual. Or maybe a maid? Right now, I am stretched way too thin. And I love my babies, all three of them, to the moon and back. I just want to do the very best I can for them. I just need to figure out how to accomplish that.

1 comment:

John & Teresa said...

Summer break is just around the corner!! I often wish that I had a teaching degree so that when my kids come along, I can have their schedule. So you have a nice break with them to look forward to! For similar reasons, I too am discouraged about not being able to start a family. I will pray for peace in this area of your life. You are one awesome momma!

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