Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Motherhood is Tough

Do you ever feel that being a Mom is isolating? I sure do lately.

It means that it is hard to go anywhere. This can mean the grocery store or the doctor's office, but it can also mean a friend's house. When you are the primary caretaker for your kids, it is really hard to get out of the house. Which makes it hard to talk to other adults. Which in turn makes it hard to have friends.

A lot of moms I know begin to make friends through their kids when the kids go off to school. An unfortunate side effect of your kids going to school where you teach is that the other parents always see you as the teacher, and there is a distance between you. One that has to be there, I suppose. But the reality of it means that I haven't gotten to become friends with the other moms in Evan's class. And the moms of Charlie and Sammy's daycare cronies are my teaching buddies. Which leaves me with a very small circle of people to interact with.

I am invited to a jewelry party tonight at the home of one of my teaching friends that I was really looking forward to. Jeff worked late last night in an effort to get home tonight in time for me to attend, but it still is going to be a tight squeeze. Jeff works so hard to be a good provider for our family, which I am so thankful for. The long hours his job requires of him are hard for me though, as it means more time when I am left feeling isolated here at home.

My goal for the week is to give myself a kick in the pants when I start feeling lonely like this. I am going to remember back to the time when it was just Evan and I, and I was yearning to give him siblings, to have a father figure in his life. There was nothing I wanted more than to be a wife and to have more children.

Now that I have that, I need to continue to be thankful for the blessings I have received. I am going to remind myself to take joy in the little things, and remember that my job here at home as a wife and a mom is the best way I can serve my family, and the Lord. This is where I need to be. And it won't be forever. As Jeff and I were telling Evan yesterday in a talk about why we are expecting more out of him lately, Evan only has 8 more years and then he will be an adult. As soon as the words left Jeff's mouth they knocked me on my rear. 8 YEARS?! How did that happen? It's not nearly long enough for me. I am going to try and change my perspective this week and remember that our time with our kids is all to short, and there will be time for me later.

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