Bible in 90 Days: Check in 3

We're back from vacation! It was an awesome, relaxing week filled with sun, sand, family bonding, swims, and....Bible reading! I was a little nervous that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the reading schedule while we were away, but it turned out to be my most prayerful reading time yet. It was so nice to take my Bible out to the deck, drink my morning coffee, look at the beauty of the lake, and spend time with God.

As a result, I am still current on my reading, and today will read day 31. I am going to finish 1 Chronicles today. This book has by far been the most challenging for me to stick with. The list of names that goes on and on is confusing, and to tell the truth, not as exciting as the previous parts of the Old Testament I have read. The overwhelming thing I have noticed is the early Israelite's intense need to record genealogy. I wish I knew why this why important to them in a cultural context.

Nonetheless, long lists of names or not, I am going to keep reading! I was excited yesterday to note that I am a third of the way through my goal! It's been a great experience so far, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

Don't forget to check in here if you would like to learn more about this program-I highly recommend it!

Vacation pictures are coming soon!

And...We're Off!!

I have spent the last two days washing load after load of laundry, packing, sorting, and collecting items from all over the house. When I was finished, I looked at the mountainous pile sitting next to the front door and sighed. It was going to be no easy task to fit all this crap into the car.

It was like playing a giant game of Tetris, but our van is now loaded. To the brim, but loaded. Evan will just barely be able to stuff himself into the backseat, but I don't think we'll have to resort to tying any of the children to the luggage rack.

The new GPS system is installed and waiting to direct us to the Pine Beach resort in Nevis, Minnesota. And the kids? They are beyond excited. We are anxiously awaiting seven days of lakeside living. We have many sand castles, afternoon swims, nighttime games of Kings in the Corner, and boat rides planned. I can't wait to unplug with my family at one of my favorite places on Earth.

See you next week! We are off to relax, and enjoy each other!

Lovely Birthday

I am having the nicest of birthdays! I have been overwhelmed with the number of "Happy Birthday" messages and phone calls I have received today. I am feeling loved, and what is better than that?

I was folding laundry when the UPS man rang my doorbell. Is there anything more exciting than when that lovely package man rings your doorbell on your birthday and you know you didn't order anything? I got a tingly feeling, as I just knew it was a present! And what a deliciously wonderful present it was! My TA at school, Linda, sent me the most beautiful framed picture. It has our last name in large beautiful letters, and behind it are the names of all of our family members. It is so gorgeous, and it is already hanging above our fire place. One of the very best parts of coming to work at my school was getting to meet this woman who has become one of my very best friends. I am SO SO lucky to spend all day at work with one of my favorite people!

Evan is feeling under the weather today with a stomach ache, which isn't good, but it does mean I don't have to sweat it out at a swim meet tonight, and instead I can enjoy a yummy birthday dinner and some cake. I am thinking of frying up some chicken, y'all. Everyone knows you can't gain weight on your birthday, right?

Not having to go to swim practice this morning also means I am getting a head start on the laundry and the packing that I need to accomplish before I load my four handsome guys into the car on Saturday morning for our road trip to Minnesota. All in all, it's been the best of days.

Birthday

It's my birthday tomorrow. I can't figure out why, but I am feeling so anxious right now. I think some of it has to do with the fact that I am going to be 33 tomorrow. Can you believe that?! Thirty three!!! 33 is firmly entrenched in middle age. UGH. You might even say I am in my mid 30s. Double ugh. I still feel 18.

While we were packing up my parents house a couple of weeks ago, we were looking at picture albums of my siblings and I when we were little. My dad pointed out that I am now older than he was in many of the early pictures. Yeesh!! How in the world does that happen? Only yesterday I was graduating from high school. Except it turns out that yesterday is really 15 years ago.

I think the other thing bothering me is that I am wanting the calendar to sloooooow down. I am so enjoying my kids this summer. I have no desire to go back to school. I love being with my family all day. I sure wish I could find a million dollars between now and August.

At any rate, I am going to try and focus on the positive tomorrow. I am going to enjoy a morning run. I am going to marvel at my two youngest children who have gone from non swimmers to swimming 50 meter laps in only three and a half weeks of daily swim lessons. I am going to take a nap and snuggle with my Sammy. I am going to watch Evan speed through the water in his last swim meet of the summer. And I am going to buy myself a birthday cake and have my boys help me blow out the candles.

Although I can't believe I am 33, I am so thankful for every second I have had to celebrate life. I am so thankful for my many blessings.

Reading the Bible in 90 Days: First Check In

Today, Amy at Mom's Toolbox, the online leader of my Bible in 90 Days reading group, has asked each of us to do a quick introduction of ourselves, and update in the progress of our reading. So, for those of you who are regular readers, or who know me in real life, I hope you don't mind a "reintroduction" to Christy.

I am 32, (soon to be 33 in two days) and the mother of three active, energetic boys. My oldest Evan, is 11. Charlie and Sammy are Irish twins who were born 10 months and 10 days apart. Charlie is 4, and Sammy is 3. Needless to say, they all keep me on my toes. I have been married to my best friend Jeff for 5 years this month. I consider it the greatest honor and joy of my life to be wife and mother to these 4 incredible boys.

I decided to read the Bible in 90 Days because I feel very unfamiliar with large sections of scripture. I have been raised in the Catholic church, and while we hear three different scripture passages at every church service, I don't feel like there was very much emphasis placed on reading, memorizing, or understanding the Bible. I know the highlights of the old testament, like Noah and Moses, but that's it. I am so excited to know scripture in detail, and in a more personal manner. I am excited to read quickly so that I can get a historical perspective.

Although today is the official start date, I am already on Day 17 of my reading. I ordered the Bible in 90 days Bible to use, as it's in large print and contains less foot notes to distract from reading. (It is not an abridged version). When it arrived in the mail, I was so excited, I just couldn't wait to start! I am currently through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. I already know so much more than when I started, I am absolutely amazed. I am also coming up with lots of questions, and I am excited to share these with the online reading group.

This has been an amazing experience already, and I can't wait to see what comes next! Thanks for listening to my journey! You can click here to read Amy's post today.

Another New Project...

On Sunday night on Twitter, I learned about a great program called Couch to 5K. It is an amazing program that uses interval training to take you from being a couch potato to being able to run a 5K in just 9 weeks.

I just started back up at the gym last week, trying to run myself into a more healthy weight. I did okay, but I think I started into things too quickly. After running my knees and ankles hurt, and the next morning after a workout was filled with stiffness and pain. This program couldn't have come at a better time for me!

It utilizes periods of running/walking to help you work up to running a full 3 miles without stopping. I started with Week 2, since I had been running last week. Week 2 features 90 seconds of running alternating with periods of walking. It was the perfect pace for me. I never thought I couldn't do it, and afterwards....there was no pain! That is huge for me, as the aftereffects are often what stop me from running. I downloaded the Podrunners podcast featured on the site, which was really helpful. It provides upbeat music and tones that help you know when to walk, when to run, and when to cool down.

If you would like to join and you are also a Twitter user, there is a group of us who are using the program together to offer support. Just tweet after your workout, and use the hashtag #runningtaters

I am off to the gym right now...can't wait for day 2!

Blogging Through the Bible in 90 Days

I am excited to be starting a new challenge this summer! Along with Amy at Mom's Toolbox, I will be reading the entire Bible in 90 days, beginning on July 5th.

I am nervous to begin. The Bible has always completely intimidated me. I find the language hard to decipher, and not always attention capturing. I have tried to do this before at various points in my life, and never succeeded.

I know that I need to however. I am so excited to use this opportunity to grow in my relationship with Jesus, and to better understand my faith! I also know that the support of the others in my group reading alongside me will inspire me to stick with it. The Bible we will be using has also been especially designed for the Bible in 90 Days program, and I think that will help as well...only 12 pages a day, with minimal foot notes to distract from the reading. I can just feel God asking me to do this, and to spend this time with Him.

I'd love to have you join me! If you would like to participate, click over to here and sign up. It's quick and easy, and provides lots of information to help you get started. Tell me if you decide to join, and we can support each other!!

A Day in the Life 6/11/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

My friend Christi did this about a year ago..and I love her great idea! I decided to try this out myself. Our day yesterday...

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Micek House at OneTrueMedia.com

Getting sad to say good bye to this place...

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Home Made Laundry Soap Tutorial

I love to buy things in bulk when I can at Costco. It saves our family LOTS of money each month. By far our biggest expense at Costco was laundry soap. With four very dirty boys, we spent about $30 per month just on laundry detergent.

I started researching alternatives on the internet after I saw Michele Duggar on an episode of "19 Kids and Counting" making her own laundry soap. I was impressed to find that after making my own soap, I could do a load of laundry for about 3 cents a load, giving us a lot of savings!

It ended up being VERY easy to do. The whole process took me about 20 minutes. I have also been extremely impressed with how well it gets out stains. When I have tried other natural laundry detergents, I have been very disappointed with their stain fighting qualities, especially with wash cloths (did I mention dirty boys?!) and food stains.

The Recipe
This is a low sudsing soap, so it can be used in HE machines as well as regular washing machines. You will not see bubbles in the water, but that's okay! It's the ingredients that clean, not the bubbles!

1/3 bar of Fels Naptha soap
1/2 cup of 20 Mule Team Borax
1/2 cup of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (this is NOT baking soda!)
Sweet Orange Essential Oil (optional, if you would like to add a little scent to your soap)
***Note: with the exception of the Essential Oil, these items should be available in the laundry aisle of your local super market. I chose to start with a starter kit from Lehmans.com, because it came with a grater, and a great 4 gallon bucket to store the detergent in.

First, grate your 1/3 bar of Fels Naptha soap using a vegetable grater.

Next, put the grated soap into a pan. Add 6 cups of water, and heat over medium heat until the soap melts. Stir constantly, and do not let the water come to a boil.

Add the washing soda and the borax to the melted soap. Stir until all is dissolved, and then remove from the heat. Be sure to use washing soda, not baking soda. Baking soda will not work. I also chose to add 3/4 cup of the borax, for an extra stain fighting boost.

Pour 4 cups of HOT water into a 4 gallon bucket (the bucket should have a lid). Add the soap mixture and stir well, then add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir again. After the mixture has cooled down, put the lid on the bucket and let it sit overnight.

The soap should turn into a gel overnight. It will look more like an "egg soup" consistency, rather than a traditional gel. At this point you can add essential oil if you would like your soap to be scented. I like Sweet Orange. I used 25 drops for this recipe.

One Batch of Soap will make approximately 2 gallons. Use 1/2 cup per load. The soap should be stirred or shaken before each use. I saved and rinsed out a used liquid detergent bottle, and I fill this up with soap from my bucket as needed. The bottle can easily be shaken before each use, and the cap is exactly a 1/2 cup, so it works perfectly. The recipe can be doubled if you would like, or your family uses a lot of laundry soap per month.

Happy Soap Making!!

My Parent's Real Estate Nightmare

My parents own a multi level house. It was a great place to raise 4 kids, and it gave us lots of space to be together while also providing room for private quiet time. Now that my parents are nearing retirement age, they knew it was time to move on. Carrying laundry up from the basement and up three flights of stairs isn't easy for my Mom anymore, and we knew it wasn't the place they could spend their retirement.

In February, they started hunting for their new house. My dad asked me to help, and I went to probably 25 different houses with them. During the whole thing, we learned one thing. My Mom loves ranches. She loves smaller but beautiful spaces, and doesn't want a lot to have to clean and take care of. My Dad is the polar opposite. He hates ranches and likes an upper floor, with lots of space and a big basement.

It was looking like these differences in opinion was going to make it impossible for them to agree on anything. But that changed on Holy Saturday, April 3rd. On a whim, they went through a 1 1/2 story. It was love at first sight for both of them. Main floor laundry and master suite for my Mom, and an upper floor with huge basement for my Dad. I loved it too, and even more so, I loved we had FINALLY found the house after 6 weeks of looking. It really was their dream house. They put an offer in that day, and put their house on the market the next week.

My Dad then spent 6 long weeks biting his nails and waiting for their current house to sell. The housing market in Omaha, like much of the country, is not good. It was a hard wait, and Mom and Dad began steeling themselves for the probability that the house wouldn't sell, and that they would be staying put.

Last Sunday, they finally got an offer on their house. My parents were ecstatic and spent the next three days making happy plans. On Tuesday afternoon everything took a turn for the worse when the sellers of the house they were buying backed out, despite a signed contract. It meant that my parents were going to loose about $7500 when you combine the money they spent on the inspection and appraisal, and the home tax credit they would now be loosing. After a day spent Wednesday trying to coerce the sellers into honoring their legal agreement, my Dad decided that they would sue the lady for damages, (his real estate agent is suing her for his loss of commission) and try to find a new house. The buyers of their house agreed to wait until Friday afternoon for a final answer from my parents, which left us with Thursday evening and Friday morning to find a new house.

I knew it would be hard because my Dad had been so in love with the first house. I knew it would be hard too, because of the time crunch and the low availability of houses on the market. Even harder? My Dad couldn't get the day off of work on Friday, which left my Mom and me to make a quick decision on our own.

We found a house that was pretty good Friday morning. It had some of the features my Mom liked, and some that my Dad liked. It was by far the best choice of the houses we had seen over the last two days. When we called my Dad to tell him about it though, I told him he would be okay with it, but he wouldn't love it. He told my Mom to go ahead and buy it. So we did.

It's new construction, so that's really nice. The problem is that it is a ranch, and it is smaller than my Dad wanted. I knew it would make my Mom super happy, and my Dad wouldn't be crazy about it, but we only had 5 hours to find a place to move, or loose their only offer on their house. A horrible decision to make.

After the paper signing, my Mom was happy. She likes the house and the location. When my Dad saw it that night, he was depressed. He doesn't like the location, and he doesn't like the layout.

Me? I haven't been able to sleep since. If there is anyone in my life that I need to have respect and approval from, it is my Dad. He is one of the most important people in my life, and I always want to be able to have his approval. It makes me sick that he might think I made a bad choice for him. Maybe he sent me to balance out my Mom, since I knew what he liked and didn't like. If we had had more time, I would not have picked this house for him, but under the circumstances, I didn't know what else to do.

Dad is out of town this week, so the worst part is I haven't even gotten to talk to him about it. Looks like I am not going to be sleeping for awhile.

Charlie is a Soccer Star

This spring provided Charlie with his first team sports experience. He played micro soccer for Gretna Soccer. It was a much better experience than we had with the YMCA soccer teams, and we are excited to have both Charlie and Sammy involved in the fall season.

Isn't he adorable? The hard thing about the whole experience was that our family's true sports fanatic, Sammy, was too young to play and had to watch the action. I bought him a pair of cleats so he could feel special too, and he kicked around a ball on an empty field near the game. He is beyond excited to join Charlie in August.

Charlie had good games and bad games, and one time got hit in the stomach so hard with a ball that he passed out, but all in all, he is loving the game of soccer, and I am loving that I am back to being a soccer mom.

A Date With Dad

When I was in high school, every couple of weeks or so my Dad would take me out for a "Coke Date". Nothing fancy...we would just go to a nearby restaurant and order cokes, maybe some onion rings, and just talk. Just us together. When I was navigating the rocky waters of being a teenage girl (TORTURE I tell you-to be a teenage girl) this was one of the things that kept me grounded. They will always be one of my best memories of my Dad, who is truly one of the best guys I know.

Nowadays, we don't get to have our Coke dates, but whenever I get to have some Daddy/Daughter time with Dad, and it is just us, I love it. A couple of weeks ago, I got the chance to do just that.

Do you know the amazing Garrison Keillor? I grew up listening to his radio show and TV show "A Prairie Home Companion" with my parents. I love his storytelling, but I also love his voice. It is like warm honey, and OH so relaxing. When I was in labor with Evan, I listened to his voice telling calming stories to relax me through each contraction. When I was ready to give in to an anxiety attack after Sam was born, I walked around with my Garrison's voice coming through my iPod to help soothe my nerves. Right before Easter, I discovered that Garrison would be coming to Omaha, and that I might have the chance to see him in person! I immediately grabbed up two tickets, and then invited my Dad to join me.

It was a great evening. It was my first time to visit the Holland Performing Arts center in downtown Omaha, and it was beautiful. Seeing Garrison in person, hearing that honey smooth voice in person was amazing. But spending an evening with my Dad? That? Was priceless.

Our New Church Home

We have an exciting event happening right now in our church family! When we moved to our house 4 years ago, we joined a brand new parish called St. Charles Borromeo. Our neighborhood is located in the very western edge of Omaha, in an area that is still surrounded by farm fields and country roads. It is a quickly developing area that was in need of a new church. We spent 4 long years in the gym of a public elementary school while funds were raised for a new church building.

The church finally broke ground in October, and just 6 short months later, we are ready for our very first services this weekend! Last Sunday we went to an Open House. We were wowed to find all of this...


Beautiful stained glass behind the altar...the window is from another church that closed, and is over 100 years old


View of the altar


Stations of the Cross, also from the closed parish, also over 100 years old. Beautiful!

We are just so excited to be in a normal worship space! Sammy has been in a "gym church" all of his life, and when we go to services at other churches, he always asks me where the basketball hoops are! It is a going to be an adjustment for the kids, but a good one!

We can't wait for services this weekend!

On Why I Took a Blogging Break...

Right after Sam was born, and I was the mother of a newborn, a 10 month old, and a 7 year old, life was completely overwhelming. I went into survival mode, and got through every day by praying, counting to 10 to keep my patience countless times a day, praying again, and by telling myself that in a few short years when they boys were older it would be easier.

But...
it's not.

Some things are better. I am not feeding two infants bottles all day long, or changing diapers, or chasing after newly mobile toddlers. But these things have all been replaced by different difficulties. Like grumpy pre-teens, soccer and swimming lessons, eye therapy, helping a son with a major learning disability to tackle the intermediate grades, and temper tantrums. Add on a house that never stays clean for more than 5 seconds and a full time job, and I am wiped out all the time.

I originally came to the internet and blogging as a way to work through some of the stress of these things. It was a great release for me. But then I found that I was turning to it all the time, and putting off jobs around the house, or worse yet, spending more time with my laptop after school than my kids.

Between having less time down time due to the kids, and trying to detox from my internet fixation, my blog started to wither.

And I miss it! I miss having that record of what is going on in my kids lives. You think you will always remember the big moments without writing them down, but you don't. Recently I was filling out some paperwork for an evaluation that Evan is going to have done, and it asked things like when he started walking, talking, rolling over, and dressing himself. I knew a couple of them, but I found myself really having to ponder others. Which makes me so sad. I don't want to loose those tiny details, and I know I will if I don't record them.

I am going to do my best to get back here, both for myself and my kids. And what better time than the start of summer. Hopefully lots of lazy summer days are ahead of us.

Girlfriends

One thing I have noticed in my 5 years of being married to a tax accountant, is that when one spouse has a job that requires them to work a lot of hours, the person that is left taking care of the family is left with precious little time to do things like nurture friendships. Instead, things like feeding and bathing the children, and laundry take precedence. Because I was a single mother for about 5 years before I got married and was yet again the sole person in charge of a household, my friendships with girlfriends have suffered sorely. I miss being in the company of a group of girls down to my very bones. Not having a "tribe" leaves me feeling adrift and lonely.

Last night I had a lovely little break from this whole conundrum. One of the other girls at school, who also happens to be one of my favorite people, invited some girls from school over to watch The Bachelor finale (I am obsessed with this show, which is a whole other post!) It has been years...literally years....since I have had a fun night out with a big group of girls. And oh! It was HEAVEN. I am so thankful that Jeff sacrificed and came home really early last night so that I could get out for a bit. Being able to laugh, talk, and laugh some more with a group of people who just "get" you is a gift.

I need, as much as I need to eat and breath, to do this on a more regular basis. I am not sure how to get it done, but I have to make friendships a priority.

And could you believe that Bachelor Jake?!! What was he thinking when he picked Vienna? An amazing ending to a great season! Looking forward to seeing Jake on Dancing With the Stars!

Back Again

My poor, poor blog. I got it all prettied up, and then I neglected it for two weeks.

I am going to clear out the cobwebs around here, spruce things up, and give you an update.
And, I am going to try and make it here more regularly. Hopefully life slows down a bit so I can.

My dad is doing so much better. He actually went back to work on Wednesday for the first time in 3 weeks. It feels good to have him in a regular routine, and to have him looking like his normal healthy self.

It's still tax season, and that blows. We are all getting worn out. Jeff has had two different viral infections, and now a sinus infection. I think it's because he works WAAAAAY too much. The boys miss their dad terribly, and I am beyond tired by the time 8:00 rolls around.

My poor Evan. He was soooooooooo close to graduating from eye therapy, and his therapist up and quit last week, with no notice. They do not have another therapist who has an opening and enough experience to work with an eye problem as severe as Evan's is, so we aren't sure what to do next. We are on a waiting list right now, but this has already gone on for 15 months, 5 months longer than they originally told us it would take. The older he gets, the harder it is to miss school for this as well. Jeff and I are thinking it might be a sign we need to be done. I feel bad for Evan though who has given this his all, only to have the adult in charge quit on him.

Charlie is going to be starting soccer this month. He is super excited, especially because his cousins Brooke and Colin are going to be on his team. Sammy is disgusted he isn't old enough to play. It will be a rough season for him.

Most exciting is that I am going to be an aunt again on March 19th. I can't wait to have a baby around to squish again. I love babies. SO. MUCH. Can't wait to meet this one!

Hope you all have a great weekend ahead. I can't wait for March next week! I am SO ready for spring!!

Dad

I was able to spend most of the day yesterday with my Dad at the hospital. It was nice to be able to send my Mom home for a little bit to rest, run some errands, and take a shower. She seemed to be more relaxed and refreshed when she returned, which was a relief. She has been at my Dad's side since everything happened, and I worry about the toll this is taking on her as well.

Dad was better, but not better, all at the same time. The bleeding has stopped, and the pain is reduced, which is wonderful. We are thankful for small victories. On the other hand, he has so much blood from the hemorrhage in his abdomen it looks like he is 5 months pregnant. The pressure this extra fluid is putting on his organs makes it hard for him to eat and drink more than a small amount, and to take a full breath. He is off the narcotic pain relief which has eased his nausea, but that leaves him with substantial pain when shifting or walking.

Yesterday he was allowed to walk from the bed to the bathroom, and it was amazing how much this small task exhausted him. I think that is what really hit me yesterday...how tired he is, and how weak he is. He would drop off to sleep in the middle of a sentence, and the smallest of movements would take his breath away. He looks so much older than he did a few days ago, and that is hard to see.

It's going to be a long recovery process, longer than I originally thought. We expect him to be in the hospital until at least Monday or Tuesday, and to be off of work for much longer than that. This adds a whole new layer of stress to the situation, as both of my parents are away from work for an extended period.

I want to say thank you to each of you who have said a prayer for him. The very best part of the internet is the friendships and communities it creates, and I am so thankful for real life and blogging friends this week. My family and I have felt so supported and loved, and I can't thank each of you enough. I will be praying that each of you and your families have a wonderful week ahead.

Company Girl Coffee 2-5

I don't even know where to start with this post. I have been running on adrenalin for the past two days, and now I am tired and weepy.

My Dad went in for a surgical procedure on his heart on Wednesday morning. It was a procedure he has had twice before, and was supposed to be fairly routine. However, during the surgery, the femoral artery in his groin tore as they were trying to thread a line up to his heart. He began to bleed internally pretty heavily. When all was said and done, he lost about 6-7 pints of blood, which ended up in his abdomen and behind his organs. Initially, they had trouble stopping the bleeding, and getting him stabilized, which was beyond nerve wracking. My siblings, mother, and I spent most of the day Wednesday at the hospital waiting and hoping and praying while they worked to stop the bleeding and stabilize him.

He had several blood transfusions to help replace what was lost and bring up his hemoglobin levels. Today he was in pretty severe pain with the fluid and blood in his gut putting pressure on his lungs and organs, so they are giving him some pretty heavy duty pain killers. He was allowed to sit up a little today, but it will be awhile before they let him out of bed to try standing or walking.

The whole situation was so surreal. It was scary and made me feel so helpless. During the worst of it, the thought I kept coming back to was that I absolutely can't imagine my life without my dad in it. He is truly larger than life, and is the best man I know. He has a wicked sense of humor, a love of children and animals, and is the handiest man around the house. Best of all, he is a connector of people. He has a magic talent for working with others, and bringing out the best in everyone he meets. He finds ways to nurture friendships between people who might not otherwise be together. He is the core of our family and the core of our lives. Without him to anchor me, I feel like I would float, aimlessly.

I am just so incredibly thankful he is getting better. I am so thankful for everyone who has cared for my family this week. My dad has been uplifted through prayer and love, and it has helped us to feel much comfort.

I am hoping and praying that this weekend brings quick healing and pain relief for my dad, and some rest for my Mom, who has been through the wringer. I know I asked for a prayer last week as well from all of you Company Girls, but if you could spare time for one more, I would love you for it. Prayer is AMAZING, and it is what is getting us through.

Angst

Conversations with Evan lately take one of two directions.

Conversation One
Me: Evan can you please _____. (Insert household chore here).
Evan: What?! I can't believe you are making me dooooooooo that! You are the meeeeaaaaaanest Mom the whole wooooooooooorld! You just don't understaaaand me!

Conversation Two
Me: Evan can you please ______.
Evan: I can't do anything right! I'm the worst kid ever!
Me: Evan, PLEASE do not talk about yourself that way!
Evan: But I can't even take out the trash right, so I'm not going to.

Ugh. It hurts my heart, to suddenly be constantly at odds with my sweet little boy. We used to be so connected, and so in tune with each other. I hate that we have to go through this stupid teenage angst. And that it started at 11. Don't we have at least two more years to go before the hormones?

I remember having these conversations with my Mom. I remember being a complete, annoying wreck when I was anywhere from 13-20. But, for the life of me, I can't remember why. Why in the world did I feel that way? Why did the world seem out to get me? In particular my parents? I feel like if I could just recapture some of that, maybe I could make this easier on Evan and I.

But maybe too, everyone has to go through this. I just hate it. I want my kid back. I want my relationship with my kid back.

And I wish I could take back every single rotten thing I ever said to my mother as a kid. I get it now, what it did to her, and how it made her feel.

Ugh.