Not the Brady Bunch

I think the honeymoon period of things is over. Is that normal to happen 4 months into things? I have really realized this week that we are not melding into a family very well. I know things are not easy the first year of marriage, and I wasn't expecting them to be, but it still makes me sad. For example, in the evenings when we are just hanging out or on the weekends when we are watching TV or something, 9 times out of 10 Evan and I will end up on one floor of the house, and Jeff will be somewhere else. I know Jeff has a big need for being alone at times, having lived by himself for a long time. I wonder though, if we live on seperate floors of the house, how do we become a unit? Today I was really sad because we had some important things happen which I will write about in a second, and Jeff didn't mention them or ask how they went. I think back to my parent's marriage growing up a lot, especially what they went through with Ben. Whenever my brother had a doctor's appointment, or my mom was going through something trying, my dad would call her from work to see how it was going and if she needed anything, or just to talk. Then they would talk about it again when he got home. They got through so many hard situations this way...my brother's multiple health problems, my anorexia and other exploits (which we don't need to mention!), and my mom's cancer. I am really starting to understand why they are such a strong couple and are still so happy 30 years later. I know they had to work hard to make it that way, and I know it wasn't always easy, but still I wonder. If Jeff and I were faced with some of those same things, could we handle it? Don't get me wrong, Jeff is trying really hard, and he helps me out a lot. I feel like we have been talking and talking and working and working to resolve some of these things. We always come back to the same issues though. I am a really big family person, and I want to have a family that spends quality time together and supports each other. Isn't that after all what a family is all about? I really feel like a lot of the time we end up being totally seperate. Can we build a family like this? I don't know. I only know we have to keep trying.

Today I had two wretched doctor's appointments. The first involved me going to the dentist. He had found a small cavity way back in June when I was first pregnant. My OB wouldn't let me get it filled until I was well into my 3rd trimester. I guess there are some bad things that can happen to the baby if a dentist accidentally gets bacteria into your blood stream early in the pregnancy. So, today when I went to get it filled it was no longer a small cavity but a HUGE cavity that involved what Dr. Franco referred to as the BIG GUN drill. When it was all over, he told me that he thought that I might need a root canal on the tooth in a couple of weeks because the cavity was so vast that pieces of my tooth were breaking off, and he had to drill very close to the nerve of the tooth. Lovely!! Then my mom and I took Evan to Children's Hospital for his blood work and x-rays. I was so proud of my little guy! He is TERRIFIED of needles, but he held so still as they were taking the blood. They collected 8 vials!!! It took awhile, but he didn't flinch or say a peep of complaint. He was so nervous before hand. Then we went to get an x-ray taken of his wrist so they could take a bone age/density test. The tech was great, and she let Evan see the developed pictures, which he really loved. I was so glad that my mom was with me for moral support, and that I didn't have to take him alone. It worked out well too with the x-ray since they wouldn't let me come back with Evan since I am pregnant. I would have hated for him to go alone. Then she took us out for lunch afterwards since Evan had done such a great job. Aren't grandmothers awesome?! Evan is lucky to have my mom as his. So, now I guess we play the waiting game to see what they find. One of the test they ran was for Fragile X syndrome, so I am off to Google it and find out more.