Wednesday, August 16, 2006

MAJORLY Stressed Out

I went back to work on Monday, and I have been miserable ever since. There are some really ridiculously stressful situations happening at school that I wish I could write about (but don't want to end up like dooce so I won't) that are making me dread going in every in. Daycare for Charlie has also been really hard. He has really only been there for about 7 weeks prior to this, and it was at a point in his development when he wasn't super cognizant of what was going on, and he definitely hadn't gone into the whole stranger anxiety thing yet. This time it's a whole new story. His teacher Miss Mary is new to school, but she is doing an outstanding job. She is a natural with infants, and I can tell she is already in love with Charlie, which is exactly what you want in your child's caregiver. He seems to really enjoy her as well, as he goes to her willingly when we get there in the morning. Every time I pop in, she has been holding him, or playing with him, and my mom reports that she thinks the sun rises and sets on him. However, he won't eat while he's there, taking at the most 2 ounces at a time, and he won't sleep for more than a 30 minute stretch about twice a day. He is used to taking a 2 hour nap in the morning, and then again in the late afternoon. So, by the time I get him, he is ravenous and extremely cranky. It is a mad dash to get home, because he can barely stand the 20 minute car ride because he is so hungry. I am insanely missing him during the day, and I wish our time at home was filled with playtime and cuddles but it ends up being more damage control. I have tried visiting him during the day, which is something I love being able to do at school, but I think it just makes it worse for him because he screams when I leave, which then makes me burst into tears. I am so emotional about everything right now anyway, that I have cried at least once every night this week. I have also had tons of work to do at home every night, so I feel like I don't ever get a break or god forbid relaxation time because I am constantly taking care of the kids, at work, or doing work at home. I hate this. I am terrifed of Sam, because I have absolutely no idea how I am going to cope when he is born. Jeff is at work most days until 7:30 or 8:00, so I really feel like I am on my own with things. Is this worth it? I am making myself crazy, the kids crazy, and I don't have the time or energy to complete everything I need to do for everybody. I really feel over my head.


Adam said...

Jeff should be coming home earlier. He's just avoiding the responsibilities of being a good husband and father. Tell him to get his butt home!

Christi said...

I'm sorry, hon. You know that you can absolutely lean on Adam and I if you need to, right?

And on a side note, Alyssa went through a period right around Charlie's age where she would take 3 or 4 30 minute naps a day, so maybe (hopefully) Charlie is just going through a phase. It drove me nuts, but it did get better. Hang in there! Call if you need ANYTHING.

S said...

Sorry things are tough. Hopefully time will help it all work out. Hugs.

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