Good Bye 2010

I have very mixed feelings about the departure of 2010.  It was far and above the WORST year of my life.  It did bring the arrival of my nephew Grant, but this was it's only redeeming quality.  August 2010 included my Dad's disastrous surgery.  The next 8 weeks held a miserable struggle for him as he worked to heal and recover.  (Although it was so hard to watch him be so uncomfortable and in pain, I will be forever thankful for this extra time I had to tell him how much I loved him.)  And of course, September brought his death, an event I don't know if I will ever really recover from.

For these reasons I am not sorry to see 2010 go.  2011 has to be better, right?

On the other hand, this is the last year that held my Dad's presence in my life in a physical way.  I am so scared to leave that behind and face a whole year without him.

I spent some time this morning looking back at my 2010 goals that I set back on January 1st.  They included home sanctuary, health, and relationships.  I am going to stick with these again this year, as I don't feel like I did a very good job at most of it.  Sanctuary is definitely the hardest for me.  This year brought a change in schedule for us, as all three boys became old enough to become involved in activities.  Although I limited the boys to one activity each, it still made our evenings after school crazy!  This has made for my most difficult year trying to balance work, family time, and household tasks.  It left me with precious little time for working to make our home a clean and relaxing space.  This is a whole post in itself, but I really feel sometimes that women got a raw deal from the feminist movement of the 60s.  Sure we can have better paying jobs, but this created an economic situation where most women need to have jobs to support their families.  Now we have full time jobs on top of all the responsibilities that women have always had....raising the kids and managing the household.  It's like having three or four full time jobs at once.  And I am standing here in front of you admitting I am not very good at handling and balancing all of that.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now.  I am going to keep trying in 2011 to achieve balance, and find time to create sanctuary.

I learned a lot in the relationship area this year.  I learned you never know when you won't get to see someone again.  I told my Dad in his birthday card that our experience with his surgery taught me to never waste an opportunity to say I love you, to give a hug, or to appreciate.  I am going to work hard to never forget this, and carry this forward into 2011 and beyond.

Health also took on a new perspective as my siblings and I all realized the genetic woes that are stacked against us.  I found out I am in a dangerously  high risk group for heart attack with my high cholesterol problems and genetic history.  I got a treadmill, and changed my diet even further.  I finally, finally, finally lost 10 pounds.  I am hoping for more in the coming year.

I'm going to keep plugging away at these goals this year, and I'm going to forgive myself for not being perfect at achieving them last year.  I am working every day to remember it's okay to be human and not super woman. 

I hope all of you have a wonderful New Year's Eve tonight, and more importantly a wonderful 2011!  Thanks for spending some of your time (which I know is precious!) to be with me here at The Sole Woman.  You are part of what makes the adventure fun for me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!