Saturday, December 18, 2010

And so this is Christmas...

I have been missing my little blog. I didn't mean to neglect it this month, but December? It's been crazy.

I know it's crazy for everybody, and I shouldn't complain. Not all of it has been bad crazy. There have been good moments, like Evan singing in a trio at the 6-8 Christmas concert at school.

Or when Charlie and Sammy sang their preschool Christmas program, and neither were scared to perform. Sammy now loves to walk around the house singing "Up On the Housetop", which is cuter than anything.

Or when my aunts, mom, and sister and I all got together and baked our brains out, and made hundreds of Christmas goodies, all in one day.

Or when I sang with the choir at Mass for my first performance sing my Dad died. Music lifts my spirit, and singing in church makes me feel surrounded by God's love. It's been so very healing.

Or when I got to spend my very favorite three weeks of the year with my class at school. There is nothing more magical than spending time with small children in December. I love my 1st graders. They've helped me to heal too.

Or when I got to go out to dinner with a good friend, and just talk. I love girl time.

There have also been ear aches, sinus infections, bronchitis, and crazy schedules, but I guess in looking back, I notice the good makes up for the crazy.

The good also helps to make up a little bit for the grief. I miss my Dad. SO much. Of course, it is harder around the holidays, but the every day things are so much harder to me. I wanted him to see Evan sing (and I prayed like crazy that he could peek down from heaven and see Evan, so brave up on that stage...and I really think he did). I want to call him on the phone and ask him a question. I want to see him at church. I want to drink coffee with him at breakfast on Sunday. I want to tell him I love him.

I'm getting by. I'm still excited about Christmas, mostly because my kids are excited. I still feel joy and happiness in my life and my family. But December would be so much better with Dad here with me. Maybe that's selfish, because I know how much joy he must be experiencing in heaven. The glory of Christmas in heaven must be incredible! I just wish we had gotten to have a little more time together here on Earth first.

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