Sunday, September 24, 2006

Warning...Complaints Coming Up

So...I realize I do this a lot in my blog, but today I just can't avoid it. I NEED to complain for a bit. Pregnancy is just driving me nuts. I can't fit into any of my maternity clothes anymore. This would be okay if I could stay at home, but having to work is making life rough. I have exactly 2 pairs of pants that are comfortable and a couple of shirts. I have resorted to wearing Jeff clothes at home, but I don't know what to do the rest of the time. I went searching on Thursday for some bigger things, but nothing is big enough to accomodate Sam. This didn't happen to me with either Evan or Charlie. I am so frustrated sometimes I cry about it. Thursday I tried to just tough it out and wear a pair of khakis that I knew were too tight, but I was in agony by the time 1:00 rolled around. My underwear will NOT stay up, it just rolls right under my tummy. I constantly feel unprofessional and that my clothes are either going to fall right off my body or that I am walking around disgusting people because I look like a stuffed sausage. The big problem is...I HAVE 11 MORE WEEKS TO GO!!!! What in the heck am I going to look like then? I am already starting to retain so much fluid that the skin on my feet is cracking. I cannot possibly make it until December. God Bless Jeff. I am in tears constantly, I am always grumpy, and he is patiently just putting up with me. I also have the nesting thing starting to kick in and I have this contant urge to be close to him. I must drive him stir crazy. He has a trip coming up next weekend and then again on October 2nd, so I am a nervous wreck about him leaving.

My sister and brother-in-law were nice enough to let us borrow one of their cribs, since Colin has been sleeping in a twin bed for about the last two weeks (and the angel child has not tried to get up once! How did they make this kid?) I am so thankful that we won't have to spend the money on a second crib. Anyway, they put it up last weekend in Charlie's room and I hate it. The room is stuffed with furniture. I know it won't be forever, and that things will be better when we can get rid of the changing table and there are just 2 twin beds or even bunk beds, but for now I hate it. It is the perfectionist coming out in me.

I just feel totally out of control. I can barely have a conversation without crying this weekend. I know my mom is worried about me, because I have had to get off the phone with her a couple of times this weekend, because just hearing her voice makes me cry. What is wrong with me? I have a couple of friends I really want to call and talk to this weekend but I am afraid once they say hello I will burst into tears, and they will think a psycho stalker is calling them. My poor family. I know I am driving everyone else nuts, but that just makes it worse!!! HELP! I am stuck in pregnancy insanity land!!!!

Okay...I feel marginally better. Thanks for letting me vent.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

I'll keep thinking happy thoughts for you!

Christi said...

Call me and we can just cry at each other, k?

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